Anyone who knows me well, will agree that I like to do everything myself. Due to STIGMA, I even hid the severity of my illnesses for a long time and in part lead me to nearly succeeding in suicide last year.
Deciding to be fully transparent and honest in declaring my mental, physical and financial bankruptcy is somewhat freeing and has allowed me to step into healing and living and loving a life that I want and need too.live Opening up, has also helped me realise my life mission and purpose and that is to better educate the world about chronic and mental health illnesses . I believe talking outwardly it has improved my health conditions and I want to help millions of others around the world to improve theirs too.
I want to tell you, that being a woman that has succumbed to chronic physical and mental health issues, it has been a struggle with a sense of guilt because of my many conditions, both physical and mental symptoms at times, make me feel like I was a burden or that I was causing trouble for my loved ones . This sense of guilt creates an anxiety that withers strengh away when unchecked. Sinking, deeper and darker forces you out of life because that physical and mental pain is unbearable – you are then unable to make a living, so as well as health being bankrupt, so are your finances. This is when life becomes non existence because you are so horribly ill, that you cannot work but because you are hiding the severity , your loved ones and the greater environment cant see the true extent of your problems.
I felt a failure for so long but since becoming fully transparent , I now know none of my health illnesses or my financial woes are to be blamed….what has occurred , has occurred. It is now about recovery in aspects of life so that I can keep moving forward on my life journey. By reducing the feeling of guilt within myself , my anxiety that comes from it, has lessened too. I am no longer shy to speak about my down times, because I am becoming aware of just how many people just like me there are around the globe in similar circumstances and they too are fearful of putting their hands up for help because of the STIGMA that shades invisible illnesses.
Standing up was really hard to do, and it was only for the fact that I failed at suicide that I am now where I am, but I’ve found that for myself, changing the way I think, breathe and live can make lifes wandering so much easier.
I now, try not to put myself in situations where I might have the temptation to hide even if it’s with the intention to avoiding hurting someone’s feelings. I find it helpful to breathe and speak an honest life because not only can I avoid the negative physical and mental effects, but I can be help others see that it’s ok to do the same. Sometimes now , as I speak it may be hurtful but it’s not about anyone in particular, it’s to explain how thoughts and feelings can cause negative connotations to mental and physical health and as spoken about when left unchecked it can badly affect all areas of life.
It’s not to say that I don’t hide myself anymore, because I do. But when you make it your goal to show your journey in total and that’s the good, bad and indifferent it’s very freeing for yourself and then others living similar chronic illness journeys begin to follow on. This is the beginning of raising awareness and just perhaps the beginning to ease the state of stigma. By telling the true chronically invisible health story I am showing that there is no need to feel guilty and finally the larger community and globe can learn and treat these health and life issues better.
If you need help, please don’t feel weak or not good enough to receive it! When, we step ourselves out into the world and let them hear our stories, we let the sun, shine through and so the stress, the hardship becomes bearable and thus healing really begins.
If you resonate with my story please like and share my post and let me know.
Lots of love
The Barefoot Goddess 💋
Please also connect with me on social media at;
“Wandering Towards Wellness, Globally “