Nobody sees me, nobody at all.
Nobody sees me at 3am when I should be asleep but the pain from the tip of my head to my toes is filled with pain.
Nobody sees me, nobody at all.
Nobody sees me,
trip and stumble
Nobody sees me,
put the TV remote control in the freezer
Nobody sees me,
put the house keys in peculiar places
again
and again.
Nobody sees
when your so tired, that you can’t even take your bra off each night,
Nobody sees
when you are still in the same clothes, 3 – 5 days in a row….
It is such a glamorous life
being chronically & invisibly ill!
Nobody sees you
trying to stay calm…..CALM what the fuck is that,
when you are chronically and invisibly ill!
Nobody sees you
when you fix lunches or dinner
because you said, you were OK
AGAIN and again
and again, EVERYDAY!
Nobody sees you
sitting over the sick bucket in the middle of the night
Nobody sees
your inner self kicking, swearing and shouting,
trying desperately to hold it together
NO, nobody sees you
holding on, like you are a trapeze artist on a tightrope of chaos.
Nobody sees you
getting up
and sitting down
then getting back up
then falling to the floor
Nobody ever sees you when the days are so dark and gloomy!
No, nobody ever sees that you just didn’t leave the house for one whole week.
NO – Nobody FUCKING saw that !
Oh what a glamorous life,
to be chronically and invisibly ill!
Nobody sees
when you were so empty
but you still gave something
or made something
and continually saying sorry for being cross, again and again!
NO nobody sees that real YOU!
Nobody sees all of the things that you do, or the ways that you manage, when REALLY you can’t manage at all!!!
and then there are those questions,
“you don’t look sick”
‘when are you going to go back to work?’
I can tell you,
living with chronically and invisible illnesses
are jobs in themselves
and they are seriously one of the hardest jobs anyone can ever have to face
because you are simply reduced to sitting around at home
and nobody sees you , nobody sees that
But through all the torture
there is something you are building
sonething that will never be torn down
– THAT SOMETHING IS INNER STRENGTH
So remember
When nobody saw how much you gave
every day
every night
every morning
every afternoon
and every moment.
Well let me tell you , I saw you and I felt you,
I think you are so wonderful , so BRAVE
STAY STRONG because just because there are BAD days, it doesn’t mean it’s going to be a BAD life!
If you are chronically and invisibly ill and you resonate with this please like and share and if you haven’t connected please do so on my social media channels;
http://www.facebook.com/IAmFNDAware
http://www.twitter.com/FND_Goddess
http://www.instagram.com/fnd_goddess
“Wandering Towards Wellness, Globally”
A Barefoot Goddess On A Journey 