Why I’ve changed my name…..and begun a new life. 💋

A lot of people are asking me – why have you changed your name from “Lisa Raie” to “Harmoni Shakti”?

  Well, let me explain;

Changing my name so dramatically isn’t something many do, so it is probably why so many people are asking me why???  I could keep answering the questions as they come, but I thought it would be good and insightful to tell the story of why I changed it, what the process is like and what Ive learned from it.

Why I did I change my name  –  Well, firstly let me say changing my name is not an easy process and I’ve had to take lots of things into account, still am. But one main reason of why I did it – was my stepping outside of the abuse that I had long endured as a child AND changing the name was the final key that allowed me to step into my truest self, the healing I’ve needed to live the life I love .  My old name gave me too many bad memories! That  person, that me with the old name continually felt squashed with anxiety and illness. Being called the old name I felt like I was always being spat on or as a lesser woman and I could not truly wander towards healing and wellness as I wanted.

Having these thoughts continually spiking my every breath, became monotonous on physical, emotional and mental health. All I ever tried to do was to fit in at school and life, the last thing I expected was that I had to basically wrestle with my father  over how I was expected to be. I was expected to be that “Little Lisa” – seen and not heard! 
Of course – living a life like that was intolerable! I wanted to be free, I wanted the best but I didn’t like being told that I was not good enough, or no you can’t do that – that’s not professional enough! As I was releasing the abuse that came from this childhood, I knew I wanted to change my name. I knew I wanted to choose a unique name that almost nobody else in the world had. I also knew that I wanted my name to flow with the spirit of the soul that I was awakening too.

And so with my new name chosen, which I must tell you,  I think it is pretty cool, but it’s also fiercely freeing and cathartic as I continue to release the many things that have ever held me back. It has also begun a true continuation of the healing journey back to optimum wellness that I have been attempting for over ten years. All of this, also is in a sense, me being in control of a life after seemingly having no control for many many  years!  

Going back to the decision, I knew changing my name was also the right thing to do, as I had never been very tied to the name and I think it was because of the abuse that I had endured.  As a teenager, was the first occasion I began to outgrow my given name. I don’t place a lot of importance on the still living people from my family,  because simply we don’t have anything in common and I don’t want to be  abused anymore. I am now me, with a new name with the truthful self now able to stand in the everyday status of the world helping myself but also helping others. I also think, in my case, the ties with my narcissistic father choosing my name was another reason that the change had to be made.  I know that most of my family members and friends who now know I’ve changed my name are not upset, although they can’t understand why Ive done it and maybe they never will! I have no contact with my abusive father but I do know, he would think my decision was stupid and probably as a matter of revenge. 

So begins the process of changing my name, it legally is very tough.  The legal process now, is about the convenience of having my preferred name match my legal name and an exciting new chapter in my life. It has brought up some tough feelings towards particularly my father and how I feel about my childhood. It also brings up memories of a mother now not living , but I know she would of supported this decision.  I kind of expected these feelings, that come and go and by formally following the name changing  process, I can continue to get some deep issues out in the open as a result of my name change and truly heal physically, mentally, emotionally and spiritually. Choosing my new name is a weird process. Basically, I could choose anything I wanted to, so long as it is deemed appropriate by the Registry of Births, Deaths and Marriages. There is a lot of paperwork as I said before to get my name changed legally, and I am still deciding between two name variations: “Harmoni Shakti” and “Harmoni Raie Shakti”. The name has to be accepted as appropriate. I also have to specify a reason for changing it in more detail than simply “personal” or “professional reasons.” This is why I am now using my new name already. I am hoping my reason for change, that it is confusing for my legal name to not match my professional name.

Changing my name has made me think a lot more about the importance of what our names mean to us in every way. I mean, have you ever thought about your name and how you use it throughout your life, how you associate your name with your personality. It really is interesting to ponder, just how much our names affect our lives. For those that see my name change as offensive, especially towards my family or just unnecessary, I hope I have given some insight and clearance but I will not get upset by your thoughts or actions as it is my decision and in the end it’s my life that I am living.

 Changing my name has made me feel good in terms of bucking the status quo and questioning things that I have taken for granted for years and years and the confidence it has also given me, is beyond clear that this  is the right decision. Here is the thing, that I’ve noticed since changing my name, when I’m having a bad day and I look in the mirror, the first thing that pops into my head is my birth name. I don’t know why – BUT then I will repeat to my reflection; “Good Bye old soul – I’m the new, improved me with the new, improved name – stand proud and shine.” Do you know what happens, I shine. Those bad days are becoming less and less as my confidence and the healing process becomes more dominant. My old self with the old name was never in control. But being the new woman with the new name, i can be my fiercely independent self that I’ve always wanted and thus healing and important life decisions can be made lived and loved.

So moving on with a life to love,  I feel like my new name represents me better as who I am now. I am Harmoni, the barefoot goddess shining a light using yoga and meditation to raise awareness and guidance for healing and loving life.

Much love 

Harmoni (AKA The Barefoot Goddess) 💋

Please connect with me on my social media channels;

http://www.facebook.com/IAmFNDAware

http://www.twitter.com/FND_Goddess

http://www.instagram.com/the__barefoot__goddess
“Wandering Towards Wellness, Globally “

Happy New Year – Welcome To Life, Awakened & Aligned….🙏🏻

Today, 1,1,2017 begins a whole new step into my truest and highest selves life path!2016, was turbulent, but through the bumps and bruises, it brought openings in myself that I had attempting for years! But the door opened and I stepped in, taking WHAT was mine. Through doing so, I’ve been able to release , off load and let go of stuff that had been stuffed and packed into the deepest most insular cells within me. But they are gone and I am now free, in pure nakedness to express myself as I need to. Another reason for my name change, I’m not the little girl “Lisa-Raie” that was born to this world and forced into being what I am NOT! I am the bliss through the storms , I am a creative because of the energy sent from Mother Earth’s universal platform. 

By awakening and aligning fully, I have gained the true shakti energy that my yoga and meditation training had taught me back in days gone by! 

When you receive the shakti energy , you come alive, you are luminous and you are desirable!

Having the shakti within allows the essence of vibrant health, feeling good in your own skin and feeling that your life has meaning and value. This is why, I know from today I have the ability to transform the understanding of what invisible health complexities are and I can set real change to making better and more improved treatments available for all that require them. When you have the energy of shakti you have the energy to engage with life in more meaningful ways. The shakti energy empowers you to seek growth and change and to find purpose and fulfilment in everyday life. Shakti is the foundation for a conscious life. When Shakti is directed inwards it empowers you to raise your consciousness, to experience yourself as part of something greater. Ultimately, Shakti is the fuel that powers your spiritual growth and the awakening of consciousness not just in me but in others too.

Since awakening and aligning to my highest self I know what it is like to feel alive and well within my body, mind and spirit and it is why I know my true healing has  begun.

I am the barefoot goddess – Harmoni Shakti 💋

http://www.facebook.com/IAmFNDAware

http://www.twitter.com/FND_Goddess

http://www.instagram.com/fnd_goddess
“Wandering Towards Wellness, Globally “

Awaking My Truest & Highest Self as ‘Harmoni Shakti’💋

The modern day world sees us all running blindly and crazily around seeking what we think is important – we are seeking what appears to be that elusive higher self! Living like this, it is not my purpose and the more i try to seek what I think is important, the more frustration begins to border insanity for mind and body!

I lived 50 years of age like this! Now, don’t get me wrong, I’ve had amazing things happen across this life and there is no way I would want to run away, release or let go of any of that!  But, I have also had abuse that nobody should ever have to deal with and after more personal stresses and worsening health conditions this year, I finally fell into such a dark depression and attempted suicide from life and the people that I love and the truest dreams and goals. But falling so hard also, allowed me to finally find the key to unlock my highest self! The callings from within me, yes from deep within me have had such an impact over my every present breath! 

Awakening to my higher self has been met through opening up some very hidden belief systems that have been comfortably released. But, it basically has allowed an eternal, conscious, and intelligent woman being found – that woman is my real self. I now feel free enough to run & splash freely within the waves of life and it is now a inseparable ray of light through the Universe and myself. 

Since having the awakening of whom I am and whom I have always been since a little girl, it has seen me change directions this last part of 2016, without thought or pondering possible repercussions. You see, finding, awakening and aligning to my truest balances within every single cell, I can now place myself into such a relaxed meditative state, even when troubling situations may come through to daily life. When this NOW occurs, my newest and truest highest self can direct the situation with new direction without thought and despite what may occur. Everyday, I journal but now my awakened self asks me to write write things down, perhaps single words, names, circumstances – I can then ask myself YES & NO questions about the issues causing friction. My body now answers with such clarity and alignment that my fearful and anxious thoughts, feelings and pain about my health, wealth and and life’s journey no longer disconnect and cause my chronic illnesses and disorders spiral like haywire into darkness. 

With this year now into the last day and the new year laying with intentions  I felt it was correct of me to see if I can help you align with your higher self too,  using purely the wisdom of your mind and body and find how you learn to recognise the true connection when you achieve it. Because you see, when you align in this way, you are forever empowered. Since being chronically ill , I knew the Universe was trying to help me awaken but, it neeeded me to unlock what I require so that my life purpose became so  clear, I could touch and taste it! Well, believe me , everyday I can NOW and it’s WHY I know I am finally on track, and allowing my truest life to begin and to embrace with a flow of grace and ease.

My higher self now, wants to be happy and to be feel connected all the time, although I may not always seem to like it. Living for ten years plus of chronic illnesses and then the 20, 30 and maybe even 40 years of abuse has lead me to bekng conditioned that suffering and hardship are normal and necessary to survive, but I now know this is not the truth. With all my highly stressed life paths, I also convinced myself to turn all of my illnesses and life events into fierce dramas to fill my days, weeks, months, and years. Now, I understand how I could never venture into my fullest and truest self and those dreams – there was always a block from closed up beliefs!

My higher self enjoys every experience that I have, I am learning and that’s even the horrible chronically debilitating health conditions but having said that, it also understands my grounded and earthly preferences and behavioral patterns need more attention particularly at certain times. I am also intimately now aware of the daily lessons given to me, so that i learn and that’s where NOW my higher self can gently push me toward the important goals needing to be actioned. This internal self of mine, holds all of my secrets, strengths and weaknesses solidly waiting for my claim, to release and let go of them, but I also know there is no hurry. I am so very aware of my eternal breath with nature, however at times it appears invisible.

The key to aligning with my higher self is now very simple because mainly because I find I align with my highest self by getting to know how my mind and body feels when my total balanced alignment is free to see and feel. By truly knowing the feelings, I can now work everyday on maintaining it by controlling the direction of my thoughts. All positive and negative bodily feelings are set in the thoughts, which I always kind of knew but I now know that my body feels as good as it can when my thoughts are in alignment with my highest self and when  my body feels damaged in any way, my  thoughts are misaligned. That is now my time to check deeply within, mastering and retriggering the alignment key to keep moving forward with health, life. I now understand that I have always had levels of connection with my highest self across my life journey when I may of felt joy, harmony, happiness, passion and peace in life, no matter how fleeting the circumstances may have been.  

So, yes I know I am in alignment when my heart feels open and free allowing my body to feel as good as it needs to be and that is when I truly know I am healing. The feelings of being aligned and awakened can feel so very different to everyone on any given day, but some how there is a sense of wellbeing and connectedness that fills my body with a spark of creation. It’s these circumstances, that allow me to do so much forward moving work to my aligned self, message, mission and purpose in life.

Now that I can wander most days being truly awakened and aligned to my higher self most of the day, I can see that the conditioning along my ancestral, cultural, and family lines have made it so very difficult to access and transcend along a strict mental and physical level to show my best and truest gift to the world. This is why my body now feels that my birth name is not my truest and chosen at any given one. My mind and body are becoming so very sensitive at determining my next connected paths are needed so that I can continue to live in such alignment with my highest most self. 

So friends and family, I wish to say goodbye to the little girl named ‘Lisa-Raie’and hello to ‘Harmoni Shakti’ who is my truest and highest version of me. She, and me as her will serve you in amazing ways, so I look forward to 2017 and those that walk with my truely aligned self taking and making impact for all that require assistance with chronically physical and mental health conditions.

Let’s wander friends and make 2017 a wonderful new chapter to the rest of our lives bringing clearance, clarity and true compassion to our truest and highest selves.

To my functional neurological disorder tribal goddesses, with my newly aligned self the campaign trail to bring a life that we love is here because I am ME and you are all you and together we are truly aligned to bring impact that has never been seen on the scale that I am created.

Much Love 

Harmoni Shakti 💋

http://www.facebook.com/IAmFNDAware

http://www.twitter.com/FND_Goddess

http://www.instagram.com/fnd_goddess
“Wandering Towards Wellness, Globally “

Living With Chronic Illness – Part 1 – Functional Neurological Disorder.

Living with debilitating chronic and invisible illnesses are so very hard. This is why I share my story, so that greater awareness can be brought to the world. Today I share what will be a series of blogs about the different illnesses that I live with. 

The  illness I am beginning with is (FND) Functional Neurological Disorder and below is what it involves and the many symptoms that I suffer with – at times all at the same time, and other times seperately. (FND) or Functional Neurological Disorder occurs as a result of a problem with my central nervous system and my brain failing to send or receive messages correctly. 

The list of symptoms is very long and many of them can be very disabling. Living with FND, sees me experience a number of symptoms at the same time or  perhaps just living with one or two symptoms at a time as I spoke about earlier. Just as with my other chronic illness and autoimmunity, I can find frequency and severity in my symptoms. Also a lot of these symptoms are also found in the diagnosis of MS & Parkinson’s Disease making it high level debilitating, life changing and hard to diagnose.

Below I list the particular groups of symptoms that are commonly found in FND and to which I live with;

Motor & Movement Symptoms;

• Shaking, mostly found in my arms or legs 
• Uncontrollable and perhaps painful muscle spasms usually in my hands or feet. 
• Uncontrollable movements such as jerks and twitches.
• Problems with walking such as dragging my leg and uneven steps causing many falls.
•  Limb weakness within my arms or legs where it doesn’t feel normal or I can’t hold any weight through them.
• Paralysis with an inability to move any part of the body, usually on one side only but not always, which lasts a period of hours, days or longer. At present I have paralysis in the right side of my body which has been with me for many months.
• Swallowing difficulties where I  can lose the ability to swallow or a it may feel like i have a lump in my throat.
• Difficulties with my speech when my words may become slurred, stuttered or even maybe lost temporarily altogether.
• Bladder and bowel problems which may include loss of sensation leading to incontinence and some kind of catheterisation.

Sensory symptoms;

• Dizziness is the feeling of being lightheaded and not in balance and sometimes feels like my surroundings are spinning.
• Being sensitive to light, sound, smell, touch or taste is a ongoing familiar symptom.
• Nerve pain often feels like my skin is crawling with bugs and sometimes gives me electric shock sensations.

Brain Symptoms;

• Memory difficulties and/or loss.
• Poor concentration.
• Word finding difficulty.

Other areas that can be associated with FND can be;

• Chronicpain
• Migraine
• Fibromyalgia
• Stress
• Anxiety
• Depression
• Seizures

This is life as I know it and at present there is little known about FND, so my medications and treatment plans are very much being trialled. It is very much invidualised to my particular journey. It is my mission to raise awareness and funds so that more research can be done to help myself and so many others find a way to live free of functional neurological disorder.

I would love to connect with you, if you or someone you know, also lives with FND. Please connect with me here or perhaps on one of my social media accounts.

http://www.facebook.com/IAmFNDAware

http://www.twitter.com/FND_Goddess

http://www.instagram.com/fnd_goddess

Much love

LR The barefoot goddess

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Introducing Myself…

Hello & Welcome to my blog,

I’m just a goddess wandering the globes shores barefoot looking for life free from health complexities which include, invisible illness, chronic pain, anxiety & depression.
You will find me at my happiest, sitting by the ocean with my journal, pen, yarn, crochet hook, vegan food and meditation cushion.
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