Meditation Helps To Breathe Wellness Into Life….

I want to talk about two things tonight that I know a lot about! Those things are suicide & meditation. 

I want to talk about them because many people still gloss over meditation as a treatment for suicidal thoughts and urges. They seem to think meditation is too easy! However, I want to educate the world that those suicidal thoughts and urges can and will overwhelm people when life fills mind and body with too much noise. However when meditation is used in conjunction with other forms of mental health assistance, it is a very powerful tool and I will show the world that.

The idea with meditation is to relieve the mind of negative thoughts, so that focusing on the present can clear pain and suffering. There are many types of meditation and I have been very busy developing a project which I am about to launch. This project will endeavour to help all those struggling with their mental health. Allowing them to strengthen their minds and evaporating the dark thoughts from health and life.

Across the next month, I will be tempting you to what I am creating so that when we launch – we can together breathe wellness into life using the art of meditation. 

I hope you will wander with me, allowing your meditative breath to find wellness in mind and body.

Much love & healing
The Barefoot Goddess 
Follow me at http://www.instagram.com/the__barefoot__goddess

http://www.twitter.com/just_1_goddess

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Once Upon A Time…..Living With A Body Filled With Invisible Illness.

Once Upon A Time……….

That is how all good fairytales begin right!!! But let me tell you all, this story aint no fairytale! This is my story of living filled with chronically invisible illnesses that many no little about….!!!

So let me begin……..

Once, I lived what seemed a normal life with normal dreams – I was living in the ‘burbs’ with my husband and five young children. My dreams were for health and happiness. I dreamt of us owning our own home, going on fantastic holidays and becoming a top financial accountant to help achieve the goals. For a time…..that was reality!

But, WOW – taking a trip back down memory lane, shows just how different life can turn out! That was over TWENTY YEARS ago, because gosh, I’ve been living a life filled with invisible illness for over 15 years NOW!!!!!

Invisible illness came to greet me through a journey that will be another story but as a taster I was introduced to lupus SLE, wegeners granulomatosis, ulcerative colitis, RA and run ins with a couple of different cancers. That journey found me, delving into many hospital visits and clinging to life numerous times…….

It was a battle……one continuous battle that had no end. With each fight, I would search for something new, some kind of healing magic that would allow all the pain, hurt and angst to be gone. The year 2015 came and the holistic modalities that I had been starting to use were beginning to help me – I was finding what is referred to as remission! I was able to open my own business – a holistic wellness centre helping others through coaching, teaching yoga and meditation. Life had a new set of goals and dreams…… The later part of that year, felt me tiring but I kept on pushing, Christmas 2015 came and went. The year 2016 delivered me an explosion that just went BANG! I wasn’t expecting it. I initially thought that it was just flares from the autoimmune and connective tissue illnesses…..but although doctors and specialists could see flares, previous medications and treatments were not helping these new symptoms. As more and more tests were done, I was growing more tired of all the pain and suffering. It was affecting my mood more and more as well…..to the extent that I began researching how to kill myself. I, of course kept this to myself just continuing to push myself knowing that something would show up in the medical tests. 2016…..April, May and June moved along….. my health was deteriorating with more and more strange symptoms that included balance issues and seizures…..but nothing could be determined by medical practitioners. July 2016, brought about a massive seizure leaving me unable to speak, a dropped face and paralysis down my right side. My husband wanted me to go to the hospital immediately…..but at this time, I was almost done with hospitals so I stayed at home. After a few days my face and speech did improve but I couldn’t walk…..the balance was as if I was on a tightrope and my walking gait was non existent. I went to hospital- immediately admitted! More tests over and over again! I had doctors and specialists surrounding me like flies on a hot day……but still no concrete reason! Late one afternoon, one particular specialist tipped me over the edge – as she left my hospital bed and ward, so did I with the real intention of COMMITTING SUICIDE!!!!
I didn’t make it out of those hospital doors because I fell and hurt my hip! I was helped back to my bed……and OH GAWD, if I thought I had doctors and specialists hovering aplenty before, now that I was on suicide watch – I was being hounded every minute but could they give me reasons for my seriously debilitating symptoms- the short answer was “NO”. They could only tell me that due to being chronically ill, I had depression but even though I was in a dark place that didn’t help me understand what was making my body behave in mysterious ways. Five days later after more and more tests, often ones that had been repeated and repeated my neurologist and her fellow walked up to my hospital bedside. They had worked out what these new symptoms were. Basically my internal software that allows communication between my brain and central nervous system had shut down……this they diagnosed as ‘functional neurological disorder’. I immediately had a million and one questions, almost all that they could not answer. With that diagnosis,  I was allowed home…..discharged with a lot of referrals and a website to help me understand what this thing called FND was all about……

Awaiting my referrals being picked up, I spoke to my local GP, he was almost as much in the dark about what this neurological illness was as I was…..so we went on a journey of awakening together.  What we deciphered was that FND is an umbrella term for a variety of neurological symptoms which current medical diagnosis models struggle to explain psychologically or organically. Patient presentation can be so very similar to a whole range of other neurological conditions. The symptoms of FND can be as debilitating as MS and Parkinson’s disease as there are many similar symptoms. It left me wondering if I was ever going to get the help I needed…..but at least there was hope coming through my doors again.

Soon, enough referrals came flooding in. Home care and the most important NeuroPhysio and OT. These referrals were music to my ears as I was learning almost everyday that due to FND being very new to the medical research fields there were not many effective treatment plans in existence. I began initially home based physio, in which I was given a walker. When NeuroPhysio began, I was very lucky to get a physiotherapist that had knowledge of FND and she quickly created a plan filled with physical therapies that would be most effective in bringing forward goals for reintroducing proper functional movement and motor control helping to retrain my brains pathways. She was able to work closely with my OT to help me dramatically improve functions that I thought were lost forever.

I have improved in many ways very quickly, HOWEVER I do still have a long way to go in the big scheme of life. I am continuing all the physical treatments as well as speaking regularly with psychologists and counsellors that are helping me to release so much allowing profound healing to begin. But it’s hard work, and it is the lack of understanding of FND and other invisible conditions that negatively influences treatments and care. Researchers, money, and volunteers are greatly needed to help illnesses like these that have greatly impacted and impaired my life and many others. This is why I now walk and talk openly,  sharing my story and experiences in hope that I may shine a light for others to begin sharing their stories and experiences and together we can light a flame where that most needed research, information and funding will be found…..and most of all stigma can be silenced.

I hope that by telling my nightmare of falling through a dark hole of invisible hell, I may have helped you. This is one part of the hell that brought me to my message and mission of teaching and preaching to the world about learning more about invisible illness. I will not stop and I would love you all to help me. One way is to like and share this post, but you can also join me on my social media channels;

http://www.facebook.com/TheBarefootGoddessAU

http://www.twitter.com/just_1_goddess

http://www.instagram.com/the__barefoot__goddess

where we can all join as one by #lightingtheflame for invisible and mental illness.

Much love 

TBG 💋

Shining A Light TO Show Just What Invisible Illness Is…….

The last few weeks I’ve felt myself disappearing down that shute, you know that tunnel, where all invisible illness sufferers go when health dips……BUT unlike past falls, I don’t stop……I just rest!  I rest, so that I can continue my own healing and my advocacy for all invisible illness goddesses and warriors around the globe.

I’ve had to rest because on Monday June 26, I am launching an ongoing awareness campaign to shine the light on invisible Illness. I’ve been watching videos, documentaries, reading articles, writing articles and blogs all about showing, sharing and bringing the invisibility of chronic illness to reality for those that live with them but also for those that walk this world with ignorance and uneducated thoughts, actions and feelings about how I and many others live every single day.

My campaign is about shining a light on how difficult it is to live with debilitating chronic and invisible illnesses. This is why I walk and talk my daily journey- the good, the bad, the indifferent and just the plain weird! Everyday I want to share a different story, so that greater awareness can be brought to the world. From Monday I will share a series of blogs about a variety of different invisible illnesses, some that I live with……some that others live with and through these stories brought about by conversations, you will see these illnesses in a new and different light. 
I want the light that I am igniting to bring about new conversations between you and your loved ones, friends, colleagues and even strangers. Because you see, when we begin to converse, we can begin to connect better and therefore we can better help each other get through the tough times that these illnesses bring.

On Monday, as I begin to shine a bigger light on invisible illness, I will be beginning with my own story and my newest diagnosis of (FND) Functional Neurological Disorder. Today, as a taster, I am giving you a brief introduction; This disorder occurs as a result of a problem with my central nervous system and my brain failing to send or receive messages correctly. The list of symptoms is very long as you will get to learn and many of them are extremely disabling. Also a lot of the symptoms that I will talk about, are also found in the diagnosis of MS & Parkinson’s Disease making it high level debilitating, life changing and hard to diagnose. Living with FND, sees me experience many symptoms all at the same time. What is difficult with this disorder, is that I have to live with frequency and severity of symptoms with a list of other chronic illnesses as well. So, you see describing what it is and how it affects me is a long process, but it is a process that the world needs to hear and see and that is why I am lighting the flame for invisible Illness.

I would love to connect with you, if you or someone you know, also lives with an invisible illness. 

Please connect with me here or perhaps on one of my social media accounts and let’s light the flame for invisible illnesses;

http://www.facebook.com/TheBarefootGoddessAU

http://www.twitter.com/just_1_goddess

http://www.instagram.com/the__barefoot__goddess

TBG 💋

Declaring mental, physical & financial bankruptcy….

Anyone who knows me well, will agree that I like to do everything myself. Due to STIGMA, I  even hid the severity of my illnesses for a long time and in part lead me to nearly succeeding in suicide last year. 


Deciding to be fully transparent and honest in declaring my mental, physical and financial bankruptcy  is somewhat freeing and has allowed me to step into healing and living and loving a life that I want and need too.live  Opening  up,  has also helped me  realise my life mission and purpose and that is to better educate the world about chronic and mental health illnesses . I believe talking outwardly it has improved my health conditions and I want to help millions of others around the world to improve theirs too.

I want to tell you, that being a woman that has succumbed to chronic physical and  mental health issues, it has been a struggle with a sense of guilt because of my many conditions, both physical and mental symptoms at times, make me feel like I was a burden or that I was causing trouble for my loved ones . This sense of guilt creates an anxiety that withers strengh  away when unchecked. Sinking, deeper and darker forces you out of life because that physical and mental pain  is unbearable – you are then unable to make a living, so as well as health being bankrupt, so are your finances. This is when life becomes non existence because you are so horribly ill, that you cannot work but because you are hiding the severity , your loved ones and the greater environment cant see the true extent of your problems.

I felt a failure for so long but since becoming fully transparent , I now know none of my health illnesses or my financial woes  are to be blamed….what has occurred , has occurred. It is now about recovery in aspects of life so that I can keep moving forward on my life journey. By reducing the feeling of guilt within myself ,  my anxiety that comes from it, has lessened too. I am no longer shy to speak about my down times, because I am becoming aware of just how many people just like me there are around the globe in similar circumstances and they too are fearful of putting their hands up for help because of the STIGMA that shades invisible illnesses. 

Standing up was really hard to do, and it was only for the fact that I failed at suicide that I am now where I am, but I’ve found that for myself, changing the way I think, breathe and live can make lifes wandering so much easier. 

 I now, try not to put myself in situations where I might have the temptation to hide even if it’s with the intention to avoiding hurting someone’s feelings. I find it helpful to breathe and speak an honest life because not only can I avoid the negative physical and mental effects, but I can be help others see that it’s ok to do the same. Sometimes now , as I speak it may be hurtful but it’s not about anyone in particular, it’s to explain how thoughts and feelings can cause negative connotations to mental and physical health and as spoken about when left unchecked it can badly affect all areas of life.
It’s not to say that I don’t hide myself anymore, because I do. But when you make it your goal to show your journey in total and that’s the good, bad and indifferent it’s very freeing for yourself and then others living similar chronic illness journeys  begin to follow on. This is the beginning  of raising awareness and just perhaps the beginning to ease the state of stigma. By telling the true chronically invisible health story I am showing that there is no need to feel guilty  and  finally the larger community and globe can learn and treat these health and life issues better.

If you need help, please don’t feel weak or not good enough to receive it! When, we step ourselves out into the world and let them hear our stories, we let the sun, shine through and so the stress, the hardship becomes bearable and thus healing really begins.

If you resonate with my story please like and share my post and let me know.

Lots of love 

The Barefoot Goddess 💋

Please also connect with me on social media at;

http://www.facebook.com/IAFNDAware

http://www.twitter.com/FND_Goddess

http://www.instagram.com/the__barefoot__goddess 
“Wandering Towards Wellness, Globally “

So Dark & So Deep Are The Secrets That You Keep….

So how much do I want life?  How much do I love life?  How deep and dark are the secrets that I keep?These are the questions I’ve been pondering!?!

What appears to be such a long time ago but it really isn’t that long ago…..I saw pain, I felt pain in the realism of wanting the very best , to be the very best for me and my only true beloved and wanted life and career!
It began at the age of three and YES from about 11 to the age of 17, all I breathed, all I wanted was to be a professional ballerina! I practiced, I breathed , I bled , cried and screamed!

When the blessed journey came crashing down , I guess that was when life began to fall down as well. That evil monster who deemed dance was not a life journey – that monster, hid me, destroyed me and punished me for years !
Life in all its entirety never really had the same oomph – There was no stage, there was no reason! 


Over the future forward years,  because my truest self had died, life died and became filled with unwanted pursuits and illness! 

2016, found me destitute and in suicides hive – it was then I realised that life could still be lived, life could still be loved! The dream for everything wanted, is never over! Age, illness, life’s journey it is all dependent on us not the circumstance or numbers! Believe in your stance and most inner breath! Be the goddess, be the strength that is within!


I have been awakened and I have been aligned to my truest self – that self in tutus , pink tights, practice leotards & ballet shoes . That self is a member of the 1% in the 1% and I have success within my veins for obtaining top level love and life because I know what it takes to get there!

So today, let me take you on a journey to find you , not what everyone wants to see, BUT that you that you are! It begins with that little person of long ago – yes she is still there – AWAKEN HER NOW!

Step up onto the stage of life, with the much loved pointe shoes on and feel all of those broken toes, bruises and abrasions . Feel the pain, feel the joy and dance on because it’s what makes you live! If you have narcissists telling you , that is not the life journey- cast them aside because honey, this life is you, of course it’s your life journey! 
I stood in the darkness for way too long – but no one is ever too old to be what ever they are truly meant to be! Get out and shine…..

This is me, I am alive, I am able to shine because I have the pain bringing me back to the joy of life…..and before I step out on my stage, I never forget to breathe and know that this is where I am meant to be and it’s why I can’t help but smile.

Resonate with me, don’t forget to like and share.

Also connect with me on my social media channels;

http://www.facebook.com/IAmFNDAware

http://www.twitter.com/FND_Goddess

http://www.instagram.com/fnd_goddess

“Wandering Towards Wellness, Globally”

Chronic & Mental Illness Doesn’t Change Me From Whom I Was….So Please Don’t Stigmatise ME!!!

So as I lay here this warm summer evening in  Australia and I am thinking about the multiple chronic illnesses that I have. But there is one that stands out for all the wrong reasons! That health condition is Functional Neurological Disorder. It was a condition, that was not offered to me, but as many others it was given. The road wandered is hard! Some days it can feel like I am not really that sick, but then there are the najority of days that leave me wondering, why I have to be one of the small percentage of people around the globe that have to endure the most horrible pain and suffering that anyone has to deal with. 

Unfortunately, this is the hand I’ve been dealt , so let me get to , walking on and strong. It’s how I choose to use this hand throughout my life. This health condition which is Functional Neurological Disorder, will keep you down in such darkness or uplift you to such sunny skies. I can tell you that FND, can keep you tied down or it can you lift you up!  I have used so many different treatment plans and therapies. BUT , now I’ve found a path . It’s allowed me to walk past and through the ‘denial phase’ , where I just didn’t want to know. I am now in the ‘acceptance phase’ where I understand the difficulties that I face and that I will face.  

BUT , now all I want is to be the light, so that I can shine for others, through their phases  – initial and long term !  As we get ready to welcome the new year in, I will be launching two books, one about my own illness and life journeys and one filled with stories from my brothers & sistas  and their journeys. I have also created a storyline for my awareness documentary , a Ebook stepping the baby steps using yummy healthy vegan food..

If this resonates with you again , please connect and join my little tribe, because when we walk together, we simply the sun and our lives.

So if you broken, please know you are not alone and you definitely don’t need to stay broken, I am here and we are here together and we will become strong again.

Much love 

Lisa-Raie

http://www.facebook.com/IAmFNDAware

http://www.twitter.com/FND_Goddess

http://www.instagram.com/fnd_goddess
“Wandering Towards Wellness Globally”

Suicide – Let’s Talk About It….(please)

Who the fuck am I? DO YOU EVER ASK YOURSELF THAT or am I just the crazy bitch that the doubters, naysayers and haters say I am!!!

Am I the goddess of truth, light & healing or am I the goddess of dark, illness & death……

I truly am wondering this at the moment. 
You see, I have a FUCKING big message to bring to the attention of the world and that seems to be the problem! 
My message is “SUICIDE” but as soon as even the word is mentioned, people turn on me and then they immediately switch off! It is still the one huge subject within the mental illness bubble of life. Suicide numbers are rising, globally. 
We have to talk about suicide, because to talk about it is about living and that to me, is what life is about! 

“SUICIDE IS THE ELEPHANT IN THE ROOM”
So to you that are still reading, suicide was brought into focus for me whilst I was living in Geelong. We were involved in two seperate sports clubs, cricket & football. We got really involved socially with all the fantastic people and within both instances hearing the news that 2 young men still with so much to live for , had taken their own lives was horrible to understand in every degree. The shock was devastating for their many friends, so to even understand what the families were going through- well you couldn’t. The only thought was that if only we knew the battle they were fighting. In the months afterwards I think there were many of us that knew these young men, going through a whole range of emotions, trying to make sense of the super situations;

  • Guilt was definitely one – could I have changed the outcome had I been around?
  • Anger- that they had selfishly taken the easy way out but, mostly, just an indelible sadness that we could never talk to them again.

But life goes on, however something is altered forever. I remember our family dealt with it particularly with regard to one of the boys because we were so close to him and like I’m sure many do, we didn’t talk about it properly and it was most definitely the elephant in the room.
SOME PEOPLE THINK SUICIDE IS SELFISH-THIS IS FAR FROM THE CASE!
In the years that followed my own health deteriorated and one after another, I was diagnosed with a multiple number of chronic illnesses. You, can never understand what the journey looks like, initially because you are so ill but the doctors can’t find what’s wrong with you- then they do and it’s a relief but then the journey keeps continuing to bring more pain. That physical pain really seriously puts pressure on your ability to cope and then suddenly without even knowing you are battling physical and mental health conditions. Throughout my own wandering with chronic health I’ve tried to stay strong by finding other mindfulness, treatments, people – anything that would allow me to keep the breath of life alive. In 2015 after a period of really good health, my health deteriorated seriously quickly. From about April of that year to September I was struggling to build the growing wellness centre that was my life force. My business ended and so did the energy to live, I was googling suicide and ways to die but I never did! 2016, arrived and a number of family circumstances caused me to spiral out of control, ended in hospital with pneumonia in March and then not long after I was back into hospital with chronic pain and illness. It was that admission and after a visit from one of my specialists that I knew I couldn’t keep going. I had to escape, I ventured out of the ward to take myself to the road so that I could kill myself. Obviously- I didn’t get their, but with the help of a most wonderful doctor I realised that my physical health complexities had caused my mental health to be critical and it was not normal to have suicidal thoughts. I spent three weeks in hospital organising medications and therapies to help my physical and mental health conditions. 
Suicide can be difficult to understand for anyone who hasn’t been suicidal. I thought about my mindset at the time of the young men of Geelong and their suicide, and I probably did consider it a selfish act. That is far from the case now. Some people also think suicide is a choice, again this is wrong. I actually think suicide is often due what people perceive as a lack of choice. I now know that the person who takes their own life OR EVEN TRIES IT, believes it is the only way to stop the pain.
I’ve promised myself, if I ever get to that place again, I will open up AND I guess it’s why I WANT THE DISCUSSION TO OPEN UP within the world more every day.
I want to try and explain what takes a person to the point where they cannot conceive of living any more. Despite having seen at first hand the devastation that suicide of a loved one, brings I was at the point where I genuinely believed that everyone who knew me would be better off if I wasn’t here anymore. When you are in such a dark place, all insight and rational thoughts are lost. It’s not necessarily that you want to die, you just don’t want to carry on living. There is just an never ending darkness in your mind, which you think will never end. You become very good at hiding it, putting on a mask.
Do what happens when you start to get treatment and clarity begins to return. Well seriously talking about my experience, I couldn’t quite believe I nearly came so close to putting my most loved ones through such a horrendous ordeal. Hopefully I won’t in the future. 
I’m in the best place I can be at the moment, even though I do stop at times like these moments because of my chronic physical illnesses. I am busy equipping myself with the tools to keep on top of my mental health, so that the physical health doesn’t tip me over. But I also know that if I ever do get to that place again, I need to open up to those around me before it’s too late and another reason why it’s my mission and message to get my loved ones and the wider community and world learning to talk about the subject.

There should be NO STIGMA in talking about SUICIDE.
I know that people are afraid of suicide because they don’t understand it, which is why it’s my role to help the world demystify it, and make it so that people are not uncomfortable expressing suicidal thoughts. 
SUICIDAL thoughts doesn’t make you selfish or weak, it’s just a symptom of an illness, and like other symptoms of other illnesses there should be no stigma or shame in talking about it, indeed, it should be encouraged.

My name is Lisa-Raie, I am the barefoot goddess of light and dark who wants to talk suicide with you. 

If you or anyone you know is feeling suicidal please find some phone numbers available for you within Australia, USA and the U.K;

Australia 

BeyondBlue

 Ph. 1300 22 4636

Lifeline 

Ph. 13 11 14

USA

1-800-SUICIDE
(1-800-784-2433)

or

1-800-273-TALK

(1-800-273-8255)

UK

Calm: 0800 585858, 

HopeLine UK – 0800 068 4141 
I want this message, my message spoken about and I would be so grateful if you, yes you would be kind enough to share it with your community. By sharing we begin to talk about it and that’s what is so important.

Please connect with me on my social media channels;

http://www.facebook.com/IAmFNDAware

http://www.twitter.com/FND_Goddess

http://www.instagram.com/fnd_goddess


“Wandering Towards Wellness Globally”