Nobody Sees…..

Nobody sees me, nobody at all.

Nobody sees me at 3am when I should be asleep but the pain from the tip of my head to my toes is filled with pain.
Nobody sees me, nobody at all.

Nobody sees me,

trip and stumble

Nobody sees me,

put the TV remote control in the freezer

Nobody sees me,

put the house keys in peculiar places

again
and again.

Nobody sees 
when your so tired, that you can’t even take your bra off each night,

Nobody sees

when you are still in the same clothes, 3 – 5 days in a row….

It is such a glamorous life

being chronically & invisibly ill!
Nobody sees you

trying to stay calm…..CALM what the fuck is that,

when you are chronically and invisibly ill!

Nobody sees you
when you fix lunches or dinner

because you said, you were OK

AGAIN and again 

and again, EVERYDAY!

Nobody sees you

sitting over the sick bucket in the middle of the night

Nobody sees

your inner self  kicking, swearing and shouting,

trying desperately to hold it together
NO, nobody sees you

holding on, like you are a trapeze artist on a tightrope of chaos.

Nobody sees you 

getting up
and sitting down

then getting back up 

then falling to the floor

Nobody ever sees you when the days are so dark and gloomy!
No, nobody ever sees that you just didn’t leave the house for one whole week.
NO – Nobody FUCKING saw that !

Oh what a glamorous life,

to be chronically and invisibly ill!

Nobody sees

when you were so empty

but you still gave something

or  made something

and continually saying sorry for being cross, again and again!

NO nobody sees that real YOU!

Nobody sees all of the things that you do, or the ways that you manage, when REALLY you can’t manage at all!!!

and then there are those questions,

“you don’t look sick”

‘when are you going to go back to work?’

I can tell you, 

living with chronically and invisible illnesses 

are jobs in themselves 

and they are seriously one of the hardest jobs anyone can ever have to face

because you are simply reduced to sitting around at home
and nobody sees you , nobody sees that
But through all the torture 

there is something you are building 

sonething that  will never be torn down

– THAT SOMETHING IS INNER STRENGTH 

So remember 
When nobody saw how much you gave

every day

every night

every morning 

every afternoon 

and every moment.

Well let me tell you , I saw you and I felt you, 
 I think you are so wonderful , so BRAVE 

STAY STRONG because just because there are BAD days, it doesn’t mean it’s going to be a BAD life!

If you are chronically and invisibly ill and you resonate with this please like and share and if you haven’t connected please do so on my social media channels;

http://www.facebook.com/IAmFNDAware

http://www.twitter.com/FND_Goddess

http://www.instagram.com/fnd_goddess
“Wandering Towards Wellness, Globally”

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