“Today I exist, through my powerful being of love and light that I am” – chant with me now – OM”

Morning moments are like these because basically my brain is simply like a light switch. When I am “off”, i don’t see much… but when I am “on” i see everything that I need -,the positivity, the possibilities, the potential, and the perspectives. But even i need a tool to help me grab my “on” power for better focus and balance. Mantras, intentions and affirmations used with my yoga and meditation access conscious breathing, and allow me to internalise and harness my positive consciousness, if you like my true purpose! 

A mantra, intention or affirmation is a word, sound or statement, repeated  to enhance my positive action in yoga, meditation and life. Using mantras , intentions or affirmations in the morning sets my tone for how I will view and respond to my inner and outer world through the rest of the day. 

So as I sat this morning  within my NOW – I chanted, I affirmed through setting intention with affirmation that in this moment and every moment, I will continue to heal, and raise awareness for a better life because “Today I exist, through my powerful being of love and light that I am” – chant with me “OM” and in these moments our power switch is on!

Go into this day, shine and be your light!

Namaste 

Please connect with me on my social media channels;

http://www.facebook.com/IAmFNDAware

http://www.twitter.com/FND_Goddess

http://www.instagram.com/fnd_goddess

AND IF YOU WOULD LIKE TO HEAR ME SPEAK MY MESSAGE & LIFE’s PURPOSE, please connect here;

http://www.facebook.com/TheBarefootGoddessAU
“Wandering Towards Wellness, Globally”

Christmas Brings Out My Mother’s Love & I Know I Am OK. I will always be ok.

It’s almost christmas, and there is lots of excitement around but as I sit here watching my christmas tree lights flickering,I find myself thinking of my mother who has now passed.

I am wondering how she would look,if she was alive now. I am thinking about how she held it together the way she did, way back when. It seemed no matter how life got out of control, she always puts it back the way it should be for me as a child. It’s always been a mystery, how she was so strong in a life of so much mess but I guess that was her and I guess in a way I have some of that strength….well I held a lot of shit deep down in my guts for so long and it’s just now as I am releasing and purging as I am recovering from multiple chronic illnesses and what has always held me back that, that’s probably what my mother was doing long, long ago. Yes, she stumbled and fell but seriously there is nothing stronger than my mother’s love because she used the glue of another era to make me have a life to smile through and give me the courage and bravery to step out into the world now, naked and free to walk and talk my vulnerabilities to awaken the world to my mission, message and life’s purpose.

Now this glue, I talk of, it is not a recipe, nor is it that sticky stuff used in art and craft. This is a special bond that mothers use to keep life from falling apart. It’s created a way that i knew and still know she is always there listening – she may not have been literally there sometimes in younger years and now I know she isn’t but it oh so feels like she is and I know that everything is and will always be okay. It’s that special bonding hug on a bad day, it’s her look that she always gave if I was scared or fearful that would take the tears and fears away. She made sacrifices because she always knew, I could do anything at all but that bonding glue of such love still holds tight because I think she knows without it I wouldn’t make it through, even now.

Mum, if you’re still awake up there, probably sitting in your favourite chair with your Chivas Regal and  Marlboro cigarettes I am letting you know that our glue is bonded strong and I have not given up and I will never give up – because my purpose in life has only just awoken. I am strong because of my story and I am strong because of you and next time you will see me standing on top of the mountain of life shining light from the darkness adding a bonded glue for those that need a helping hand and a warm heart. Yes, mum I know you are smiling at me, because yes that bonding glue has held tight keeping me safe on life’s wandered scary tightrope. 

If you are perhaps not as excited about Christmas this year, let me ask you to feel my outstretched arm and hand giving you strength, giving you hope this festive season.

Please connect with me on this blog or perhaps on one of my social media channels;

http://www.facebook.com/IAmFNDAware

http://www.twitter.com/FND_Goddess

http://www.instagram.com/fnd_goddess
Much love always, 
Lisa-Raie 💋

“Wandering Towards Wellness Globally”

From Thoughts Of Suicide To Manifesting Changes In Health & Life For ME and YOU ❤️❤️❤️

So, I begin by apologising for going MIA but WOW, it’s been the best MIA that I’ve had in a long while…..but as you will see that my vision for life is grand and through my eyes, life is beautiful when you breathe even the smallest breaths.

As, I return to my writing space, today I’ve found the energy has been as epic as FUCK and I apologise for the language, BUT seriously there is no other way of explaining the growth in me as a little woman stepping her path through the world of chronic illness.

You see, there has been years of pain, years of suffering… I’ve moved forward so many times I’ve lost count…only, yes you guessed it…BOOM back flat on my face – SICK, oh so sick again!!!

As 2015 ended their was change in the waters AND not as you or I would expect! However, change caused myself to spew all kinds of dreadful lava – it was a FUCKING concoction filled with all kinds of mental, physical and emotional toxins! My goddess vibe was lost, I was choking for air, for life…I FELL from grace! I had failed, my affirmations, my mindfulness in all its glory and I was an ash filled pit …internally I was shouting “STOP WORLD, I CANNOT DO THIS – I WANT OUT!!!!

YES, that’s right… I’ve caught your attention! SUICIDE, no one had seen me looking, researching ways or means BUT in that one split second after an altercation about my pain with doctors that can’t even understand my symptoms, let alone chronic conditions I was out of my ward towards the hospitals main doors! I could escape, I could run in front of a truck, better still a tram AND I WOULD BE IN PEACE! 

No, nothing goes to plan when you walk with chronic and destructive illnesses and that is something I am so BLOODY glad of! I am ever so GRATEFUL for a body that fell on the floor and couldn’t get up- I couldn’t take my life!!!! Because in that next split second, I had nurses around me, my doctors, mental health specialists of every kind! They finally were seeing the internal struggles foaming like lava. 

 

That eruption of mental emotion, gave me the key that I had been long searching for. I reached out my hand and there were many hands outstretched alongside mine. They had always been there but being consumed by the mass array of crap stuck in both mind and body I couldn’t see good from bad. Anyway, I and the supporting hands joined as ONE- we reached and we grabbed that key and opened up the door.

From, that very moment the key had opened up tomorrow…there has been such a aura of light! One only if you have felt this that you can imagine. But, with the light, my dreams for my health, my message and mission in life and business was awakened…I was awakened!

SO, I BRING YOU BACK TO TODAY & WHAT HAS BEEN TRANSFORMING internally and externally. It is eternally and gob-smackering real, raw, vulnerable and so freakishly uplifting in every sense of my being!

I am NOT, the FUCKING hooded villain that lives and breathes pain and so much suffering, I am a goddess born to feel these hurts, so that I can awaken and light up the world with a most mastered and personal message and mission!

What I have learnt across this journey, wandered is that I love myself and  I believe in myself AND do you know my journey filtering right back to day dot…I had never loved or believed in myself…so this journey is one that I’ve had to step.

I am healing, it’s been small steps, BUT it’s these steps that allow me to truly step out into the world as the barefoot goddess “naked & free”! 

What I mean by “naked & free” is by the way my beautiful bodies soul can now speak with such fluent truth through vulnerability and with such light through torturous healing. So, I now walk to take on the haters, the nay-sayers, the many medico’s that walked away ignorant of what was so wrong with my health. Yes… I am naked and free literally and metaphorically for my journey and yours.

My steps, are far encompassing my little house in Melbourne, Australia. You see, people from as far abroad as London to San Francisco and India to Japan are looking, listening and hearing my words for wandering towards healing and wellness. I walk and I wander and I talk outwardly importantly for me, but also for YOU. 

I walk with you, lighting the way, finding solutions not excuses – BECAUSE, THIS WAY WE WILL MAKE CHANGES TO THE WAY OUR WORLD BREATHES.

I walk every step using small barefooted steps and blissful breaths because we see how beautiful life is according to every one of our dreams. We must not give up, we must come together so that most important key to finding health and ourselves within the dark mess that is chronically invisible illness. 

I want my journey to inspire my tribe, which then shows the greater world just what can be achieved when we walk as one with a much more individually aligned and unconsciously conscious health plan and support team are in place. 

STEPPING FURTHER FORWARD- I want you, yes YOU, the one that is ready to give up, the one that is sick of being sick. I want you, the one that everyone tells you that your NOT really sick!!!

YOU ARE PART OF MY TRIBE!

By joining my tribe and no matter how different our individual chronically ill paths are, we walk for presence in the present today and tomorrow. The further we walk, the closer we become one united team building the health and life that we love. 

The Tribal Path let’s us;

• Find calmness in our healing
• Gain newly embraced mindset and belief systems 
• Appreciate our struggles & celebrations
• Find mindfulness to remove the chronic clutter from mind & body

By walking together we also bring new members in that once were ignorant of our paths BUT now walk with us sharing stories of hope and raising so much wanted awareness. As, we build this beautiful connection of togetherness we are impacting the world with massive amounts of kindness, compassion and action using my original message and mission statement of;

SO, I ASK YOU – “ARE YOU READY TO JOIN MY TRIBE?”

• You will find a path to managing and controlling your chronic health conditions letting you concentrate on living the life that you dream of.
• You will be connected to like minded souls, also making massive healing health and life changes.
• Instead of negative excuses, your mindset will be filled with positive affirmation and intention.

If this is YOU, email me now at theblessedgoddessproject@gmail.com

Life is beautiful and we must not ever be consumed with the pain of debilitating and destructive illnesses, guilt and self hate, that we give up on our dreams. Let’s walk together, let’s wander towards healing and wellness globally for our health and the millions of future generations that maybe struck down by chronic pain and illness.

SO, I ASK YOU ONCE MORE – “ARE YOU READY TO JOIN MY TRIBE?”

It is FREE and we WANT you.

Email me at theblessedgoddessproject@gmail.com and let the tribal dance of life as your truest and best self begin.

Gratitude and love to you all and after reading this blog, if this resonates in any way please connect and join the tribe. If you know someone that you think may find my tribe helpful, please share with them. This is not a short journey- this is a long walk to finding health, raising awareness and sharing other goddesses stories . The world needs me and it needs you too.

Till next time,

Lisa-Raie 💋

**Sidenote – I could send gratitude to many and I have many times and I will continue to, but these blessings go out to the beautiful woman in Erin & Ann, (NeuroPhysio & OT) that assist me with gaining my physical strength back. You knew me, better than I knew myself when we first connected. To Dr Lauren Sanders, neurologist who steps outside the normal healing box and brings alternative treatments that work. Dr Mark Pace for never stopping, when other medicos did. My psychologist Peter who has allowed me to unleash a whole lot of cluttered crap that I really didnt want unleashed but now understand what part it played in all of my health complexities. Finally their is first, my husband Paul, who has been there with me through every good,bad and indifferent moment. You are my best friend, my lover and truly I kept going because of you. Secondly and specially mentioned is my youngest son, Joey. He is one of the bravest, smartest, kindest and compassionate kids going around. He has Aspergers (ASD) & a number of genetic and behavioral disorders so life has not been a smooth trek for him either, but he walks everyday with love brimming out of him for me and his father. That’s the love that comes from above and I think filters through him from my late mum who rests above.**

Please connect with me on my social media channels;

http://www.facebook.com/IAmFNDAware

http://www.twitter.com/FND_Goddess

http://www.instagram.com/fnd_goddess 
“Wandering Towards Wellness, Globally”

The Mindset Is Everything – Find Your WHY & Live Your WHY….💋💋💋💋

I have had my biggest #mindset breakthrough tonight thanks to my treasured secret friend called my journal! 
This is it;

I lost hope late last year & I disappeared down the rabbit hole of life – nearly taking my own life. Thank goodness for one of my brilliant doctors who found the untapped reason for my health lapse. It was the hope that I needed – it was the light being switched back on to the real me, my real message for this world and now I am back because I only walk and talk my WHY and because of that I will always have the ability to inspire those that need inspiring and if they don’t I will find others that do!  
Much Love 

Lisa-Raie 💋

Connect with me on my social media channels;

http://www.facebook.com/IAmFNDAware

http://www.twitter.com/FND_Goddess

http://www.instagram.com/fnd_goddess
“Wandering Towards Wellness, Globally “

Living On The Edge With Chronic Illness – A Step Into The Darkness Means Asking For Help…….

So today, my thoughts are going back to when everything was oh so dark and in despair and I felt like I could not keep going.  WHY – Because I want you reading this to know that you are not alone in your journey with chronic pain and debilitating invisible illnesses.

​​
You see, when you are chronically ill, apart from the everyday pain and illness you most probably will suffer from forms of depression, loss, loneliness and perhaps even  thoughts of suicide,  but you will rarely discuss these because you think you will be judged as weak. I want to speak to you, openly about the fact that these topics are ones that you don’t want to dismiss or ignore and I am speaking from personal experience. 
By speaking of my own journey, honestly and vulnerably , I hope that I may help you feel more comfortable about talking about your struggles with living with chronic illness everyday. I want to show you that by choosing to ignore these dark moments, only can make the problems that you are dealing with even bigger, scarier AND lonelier. Being honest opens up doors to your inner most private struggles and lets other people in to help.  

So let me explain a little bit of my experience. Obviously my physical health was caused by multiple chronic illnesses of autoimmune & neurological breakdowns but I also started to notice a  mental deterioration clearly by middle of 2015. I put it down to extra tiredness due to opening up my own business as a life coach and yoga teacher with my own studio. I know that my chronic illnesses are part of me and this business was my way of opening the journey up to the greater world. I wanted this so much, so I just told myself to keep pushing through the daily processes of life. 

Let me stop right here, now and explain that my living in silence with my pain and illness is an oh so clear example of how this modern world makes surviving chronic illness and is without a doubt, one of the hardest hurdles to overcome. 

Going back to the beginning……my health began to decline and initially , I approached it as though I had a bad flu. But that flu, never went away so off to the doctors, I wen to find the problem, so again I could be well. Right – oh no, not so! As months went on and one year turned into multiple years my pain and suffering weren’t getting better , in fact, they were worsening. I tried all the mainstream medical philosophies, I stepped into alternative therapies , which may I say allowed me to find a path through for a while but as life was seemingly moving, my thought process began to divert from those who surrounded me. I kept going to the doctor, many doctors actually and many times, over and over but that is where my original plan failed. The pain was from nerve damage, but that was where the understanding of my situation stopped. My body kept adding more and more  symptoms and the doctors seemed to have less understanding and compassion of my daily life . Particular autoimmune illnesses were diagnosed but confusion regarding what was impacting my health increased as did my pain and with each failed attempt at managing the pain or finding a diagnosis, my life  was falling through and into deeper levels of darkness .

I can tell you that as this journey of mine wandered further, I felt a thick disconnect from everything. Everyday became a blur and what was once important no longer seemed real.  I knew I was a part of the living world and I knew I had this passion and purpose but  from 2015 it felt more like I was watching it from a million years away than from reality. This life – my life it seemed so, so far away. I began to wonder if I would ever live that life that was so vividly clear in my visions and dreams. I had once planned to make world wide impact but my days consisted of lying in bed using  my electric blanket and medication or anything and everything I could think of to lessen the pain.  There would be days where I would sit up but I would still be taking high doses of pain medication and my trusty heated throw rug or sitting outside in 40 degree days just to feel well. That is NOT life. The thoughts of being well and free of these debilitating chronic illnesses were not even near being real and in that state, I just wanted  to decrease my breath into a life of living – YES, I wanted to die! I wanted relief, I wanted wellness , even just a minute. That obviously wasn’t to be, so thoughts of dying came more readily like we breathe our most magical visions and dreams had for so long. The only thing was  I thought was to go to sleep permanently- you see being in chronic pain and illness makes you so tired , so you sleep but then you wake up.  Even the short bursts of  sleep I was getting, only gave me short term relief, but my body’s pain  and suffering continued. So fast track to late 2015, early 2016 and I was done with this pain and these illnesses- some known about , others even doctors were left flabbergasted! SUICIDE was going to be my release from this world that became all too hard. I was angry, I was hurting and no one could help me.  I was in a very dark place that I could not get out of ! So I entered hospital early 2016 with pneumonia, which I believe spiralled me further into despair. I soon was discharged, with the doctors giving me the same scripted announcement- “you will need to rest , so that you can best recover because of all your other health complexities”. I was stuck in self destruct mode with such thoughts as “they’ll be sorry,” or “I’ll show them.” My pain and illness were my permanent and realistic nightmare everyday.  My  physical and mental health could not survive another spectrum of life with this level of suffering, death would be a relief, it would be an end to this awful pain and it would take me as the burden away from those closest to me. The only problem was my loved ones, as much as I wanted to leave the reality of death I didn’t want to leave them. I tried  making my husband and children realise that by killing myself it would be kindness .  I so much wanted them to understand this agony, that I was living, so that I could find relief. At this point, I was  only alive because of the people I loved, but then they left me the internal distress was at breaking point.

Come to March 2016, I was taking massive amounts of strong pain medication but just couldn’t get relief, so I went back to  hospital.  I was in a bad state, confused , in pain, in anguish , constantly falling over and even, hospital where I thought that these people would understand me  and help me were not!  I resented myself, everybody and everything – Noone really had any clue how much pain I was suffering . In that instance , I did something – I tried to kill myself. I tried to escape the hospital ward and take myself to the busy road outside and be hit by a truck. Obviously, it failed – I fell outside of the lift – but it brought me to the NOW to finding help that was there, being open to accept it. 

Being alive and living are two different things which I had forgotten after falling victim to my own health complexities, I got lost in the mist of extreme darkness and depression because, I was afraid to accept help. I thought if I accepted help, that I would be showing an even greater sign of weakness. How incorrect the thoughts (my thoughts) are when mental health disintegrates. Accepting help and building a team of health and personal support is the biggest mental and physical gain that I have given to myself. I now, know that all life needs when in these most anxious moments of life, is honest conversations regarding an understanding and  compassion. I am grateful, for my new doctor whilst in hospital as it was, he who made me realise that coming to hospital and accepting admission was the best and only option for me. It was probably my most loneliest hospital stay but also the most important 3 weeks of my life. It gave me new set of medications, treatments and a resilience to get me through the days living with chronic illness because we walk inseparable through life.

To conclude my experience, I have learnt that at this time in the modern day world, depression and suicide are as much a part of chronic illness as all the other invisible symptoms. The problem is that this world, ignores or perhaps more correctly chooses to avoid the subject. This then leaves the chronically ill like myselff, alone to cope with  the demons and darkness that nobody should have too live with. I believe if, i  had of found that new doctor months and possibly years earlier, who sat with me  and had the full non judgemental conversation,  my journey may not have  been so heavy and dark leaving me to progress like I am now. 

As I am writing this , this conversation still terrifies me but I also know talking about it helps ideas and perspectives make more space within the brain for new opportunities that life may not yet have offered. Always  remember to show kindness, compassion and understanding;to yourself  because our inner most  thoughts aren’t because of us, it’s because of the external journeys that we are living. I am now reteaching myself using mindfulness, journaling and talking about how to no longer hold on to my fear, my pain or my illnesses. For the remainder of my journey of life with chronic illness or not I want to feel alive . So by me being able to write and talk my experiences, I hope that this may help some of you and together we can begin to walk together and tear down the stigma of being vulnerable and out of reach of a life to be wandered towards wellness and wonderful experiences.

​​

Lisa-Raie

(AKA – The Barefoot Goddess) 💋

If this resonates anyway please let me know either here or on my other social media channels;

http://www.facebook.com/IAmFNDaware

http://www.twitter.com/FND_Goddess

http://www.instagram.com/fnd_goddess

Snapchat 👻- simply_lisaraie

Chronic Pain & Illness Deserve Respect and Research Too…….

CHRONIC PAIN & ILLNESS DESERVE THE SAME AMOUNT OF RESPECT and RESEARCH AS CANCERS……please read & share doing so you support your friends wandering a lonely path towards finding wellness……..

I WANT THESE WORDS, SHARED ACROSS OUR GLOBE, SO THAT CONVERSATIONS CAN BE BEGUN TO HELP AND SUPPORT CHRONIC PAIN & ILLNESS PATIENTS . It starts with one and if just one other person then shares this, then another, then another-before long we will have a global conversation and greater awareness of the importance for better healthcare for chronic and invisible illness.
THIS IS MY FIRST AWARENESS CHALLENGE-PLEASE HELP ME SHARE MY MESSAGE GLOBALLY……and this is why;

More work needs to be done for chronic pain and illness. The numbers of people globally feeling that they have no way out of their chronic pain and illness is growing at scary rates. 
Our Governments need to wake up and give this the same attention it gives to cancer. One day of the year, for “RUOK” day, that spotlights mental illness and depression doesn’t cut it and the effects that these invisible illnesses have on the individuals, families and friends is devastating.

I can say this, because I breathe, walk and talk the journey everyday. It’s my mission to open up more discussion and conversation for myself and many others. WHY, because we all deserve a life that we love. 

I WANT THESE WORDS, SHARED ACROSS OUR GLOBE, SO THAT CONVERSATIONS CAN BE BEGUN TO HELP AND SUPPORT CHRONIC PAIN & ILLNESS PATIENTS .
Let’s send this viral and start walking, talking and wandering towards a life of wellness.

Loving Life, Living Life….

To be loving life and living life is the greatest magic of all. But what does this mean? Well to be honest my journey of life has been a full of ups and downs, highs and lows, leading me to the now where my journey of life looks something like this;

When you’ve wandered so many paths looking for that tranquil river to sit quietly beside, BUT all you find is a messy and unkept pile of rocks – you are forced to stop! That forced stop, allows you to actually restart the journey of life, as I have found. You see, being swallowed whole and then spat out, has taught me that being on the journey of life, is the ability to completely surrender into myself. It’s about accepting that i am IMPERFECTLY perfect. Living passionately with all the raw edges glowing gives me sass to be able to wander in just the right vibe and energy. There is no one but me,  who is capable of actioning every step as required, within and through challenges to take me to my preferred destination.

Thinking about living life afflicted by multiple chronic illnesses left me oh so dark and changed, every aspect of my being, but finally getting the assistance I need has awakened me, it’s allowed me to see and feel fully in love totally with the awareness that being happy gives. Living life, on that messy bed of rocks doesn’t give me life. That path walked allowed me, two seconds of joy and then everything soon became dark and twisted. I was left feeling like my star had lost its sparkle or in fact had shattered into pieces. Being forced to take different action and direction, I also ensure that nobody or anything can stop my love of living life. So from NOW, everyday I need to give myself permission to stop and breathe allowing my sun and stars to shine brightly because I can then wander chasing the rainbows of life that are so clearly visioned inside of my heart and soul. Being on this journey, then allows others to see me and then wander alongside me creating the same vibe and energy.

 So living and loving life means being able to wander with all of your raw edges showing, stepping forward with all the sass of a star shining brightly, but yet knowing that you can step behind a cloud when it’s time to rest. It means loving every step and wiping out the misery of any health and subsequent challenges that you may have found on past paths wandered and let’s you join so many on a bright and magical walk of life! Let’s all begin to wander together by telling our stories and showing each other who we really are, so that the world can then breathe togetherness – that’s what loving and living life is!

I’d love to know what loving and living life to you is? Please feel free to let me know here in this space or in one of my social media channels;

http://www.facebook.com/IAmFNDaware

http://www.twitter.com/FND_Goddess

http://www.instagram.com/fnd_goddess

Snapchat 👻👻👻 simply_lisaraie

Much Love

Lisa-Raie (The Barefoot Goddess) 👣

Living With Chronic Illness – Part 1 – Functional Neurological Disorder.

Living with debilitating chronic and invisible illnesses are so very hard. This is why I share my story, so that greater awareness can be brought to the world. Today I share what will be a series of blogs about the different illnesses that I live with. 

The  illness I am beginning with is (FND) Functional Neurological Disorder and below is what it involves and the many symptoms that I suffer with – at times all at the same time, and other times seperately. (FND) or Functional Neurological Disorder occurs as a result of a problem with my central nervous system and my brain failing to send or receive messages correctly. 

The list of symptoms is very long and many of them can be very disabling. Living with FND, sees me experience a number of symptoms at the same time or  perhaps just living with one or two symptoms at a time as I spoke about earlier. Just as with my other chronic illness and autoimmunity, I can find frequency and severity in my symptoms. Also a lot of these symptoms are also found in the diagnosis of MS & Parkinson’s Disease making it high level debilitating, life changing and hard to diagnose.

Below I list the particular groups of symptoms that are commonly found in FND and to which I live with;

Motor & Movement Symptoms;

• Shaking, mostly found in my arms or legs 
• Uncontrollable and perhaps painful muscle spasms usually in my hands or feet. 
• Uncontrollable movements such as jerks and twitches.
• Problems with walking such as dragging my leg and uneven steps causing many falls.
•  Limb weakness within my arms or legs where it doesn’t feel normal or I can’t hold any weight through them.
• Paralysis with an inability to move any part of the body, usually on one side only but not always, which lasts a period of hours, days or longer. At present I have paralysis in the right side of my body which has been with me for many months.
• Swallowing difficulties where I  can lose the ability to swallow or a it may feel like i have a lump in my throat.
• Difficulties with my speech when my words may become slurred, stuttered or even maybe lost temporarily altogether.
• Bladder and bowel problems which may include loss of sensation leading to incontinence and some kind of catheterisation.

Sensory symptoms;

• Dizziness is the feeling of being lightheaded and not in balance and sometimes feels like my surroundings are spinning.
• Being sensitive to light, sound, smell, touch or taste is a ongoing familiar symptom.
• Nerve pain often feels like my skin is crawling with bugs and sometimes gives me electric shock sensations.

Brain Symptoms;

• Memory difficulties and/or loss.
• Poor concentration.
• Word finding difficulty.

Other areas that can be associated with FND can be;

• Chronicpain
• Migraine
• Fibromyalgia
• Stress
• Anxiety
• Depression
• Seizures

This is life as I know it and at present there is little known about FND, so my medications and treatment plans are very much being trialled. It is very much invidualised to my particular journey. It is my mission to raise awareness and funds so that more research can be done to help myself and so many others find a way to live free of functional neurological disorder.

I would love to connect with you, if you or someone you know, also lives with FND. Please connect with me here or perhaps on one of my social media accounts.

http://www.facebook.com/IAmFNDAware

http://www.twitter.com/FND_Goddess

http://www.instagram.com/fnd_goddess

Much love

LR The barefoot goddess

💋

Crying Doesn’t Mean I’m Weak!

You those moments when you just collapse in a heap & cry, cry and cry – it feels horrible doesn’t it and if you are like me, you probably feel weak! But only recently did I learn that crying is good for me.

 Let me explain why;

By releasing my feelings of sadness and even frustration I am releasing my pain, my stress and all my most inward thoughts. It’s actually bringing me forward as before when I was holding all the energy within me – I was being held back – it was filling me with pain causing my illnesses to flare and challenge me. I’m no longer embarrassed to cry and if people tell me to stop being weak , I know that my moment or moments in tears are my releases and they are strengthening me even more for the future.

Let me tell you why;

• Crying makes me stop and understand what’s truly hurting me.  By realising the sadness, fear, anxiety, frustration, etc I am letting go of all that I don’t require being bottled up inside me. Refusing or holding  my tears in means hiding my feelings in a way and thus I am failing to release my negative emotions that are hurting my mental and physical wellness. Crying does not mean that i can’t handle my life, as I once thought. It shows  that I have a deeper connection to  handling my life and all of its challenges. Because I am more likely to cry and free my emotions, I can better regain hold on my experiences and my true responses to each of lifes situations, whether they’re positive or painful and by being able to hold my ground with these life experiences in this way through crying, i know that I am letting my body get rid of negative energy and making room for rejuvenating freshness of breath and life.
•  I  don’t care how others see me, when i cry because it’s basically me being open and vulnerable. It’s brave to show our most emotional side to other people, without stopping to care about what they might think. Crying without worrying what others think of me means that i’m putting a stop to the negative messages that float around within my head and allows me to see that showing emotions means that I am human.
• I know now that, the people most closest to me, benefit from seeing me in such a vulnerable state. It also shows me, which people don’t really have a place in my life and as a result, I find myself  surrounded only by the people who help me grow in strength and wisdom along life’s journey .
• I’m very aware that when I cry I allow myself to release feelings that have made me angry, sad and basically less able of controlling my emotions. I know if I keep my feelings in for too long, I will end up having a major emotional explosion at some point and that’s no good for me or the person or people that may end up being lashed out on. 
• I believe feeling comfortable with myself being able to cry, I can demonstrate that it’s completely okay to display our own vulnerability for others to see and they learn from that. You see, I used to believe because I cry, it was a sign of weakness but I now know that by crying I am actually being strong and honest because I am showing my feelings and emotions whether they be happy, sad, joyful or angry.

So next time you are feeling emotional, know that it is a healthy emotional expression that can and will show your friends and perhaps their friends, that when you are willing to cry then you are indirectly improving life as a result!         

If you resonate or agree with my thoughts on crying out loud to release thoughts and feelings, please let me know through feedback here or of course across on one of my social media channels. 

Till next time

Much love

💋

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My Walk With Invisible Illness…..

We are in the middle of Invisible Illness Awareness Week, so i’ve been thinking of a way to talk about what it actually is and how it affects me.

So to define invisible illness;

Invisible illnesses are chronic illnesses and conditions that significantly impair normal activities of daily living. 

The definition, tells us what it does but their are so many different spectrums of invisible illness, that everyone’s experience is different. My journey with invisible illness involves a complex list of illnesses, which include; fibromyalgia, mixed connective tissue disease including lupus SLE and Wegeners Granulomatosis, Ulcerative Colitis, anxiety, depression and functional neurological disorder. Each one of my illnesses joined together mix a chronic cocktail to significantly impair my life walk.

So, I’ve defined invisible illness and what it is to me, now what does a average day look like. This, is difficult to describe because everyday can be so very different to everyone that lives with these most chronic and varied conditions. So let me tell you a little bit about of how invisible illness can affect me, on any given day. My invisible illnesses leave me feeling so exhausted, that I feel like I am clinging to the edge of life but because nobody can see what and how I’m feeling, many times people judge me and tell me that what I’m feeling is not real, other times that I’m just a failure and many times,” oh Lisa Raie you are looking so well” but seriously I may be having one really bad day. Having people say these type of things, makes living with such chronic and complex invisible illnesses oh so, very lonely as I get so tired of having to prove my illnesses. I have infact lost many people along my journey. For the ones that I still call family, friends and colleagues they know that plans may need to be changed or postponed when pain and illness cause immense problems.  

Every day  I do the best I can, if I need to sleep, I now sleep, if I need to change booked commitments, I will change or cancel and if I’m told that I’ve let someone down – I just have to deal with it. It is hard to take when people get angry or upset, but I know that as much as I try and make them understand they can’t – why because unless you live with these chronically hidden illnesses, you can never feel what I am feeling. Many times, I’ve felt like saying – ” I wish you could feel what I feel ” but seriously I would never want anyone to feel what I live with.

Living with such invisible illnesses has taught me to be strong at times when I thought that my time maybe up. I’ve learnt what never giving up really means and it’s why I’m now wandering the globe talking and sharing my experiences so that those uneducated and ignorant to invisible illness become aware. When we can all walk together, it is my hope that further help, assistance and change can be given to all the invisible illness warriors and goddesses.
If you’ve resonated with my words, please connect with me over on my social media channels because we all walk as one and it would be great to walk as one together rather than tearing each other apart.

💋

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http://www.twitter.com/FND_Goddess

http://www.instagram.com:fnd_goddess

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