So, I begin by apologising for going MIA but WOW, it’s been the best MIA that I’ve had in a long while…..but as you will see that my vision for life is grand and through my eyes, life is beautiful when you breathe even the smallest breaths.
As, I return to my writing space, today I’ve found the energy has been as epic as FUCK and I apologise for the language, BUT seriously there is no other way of explaining the growth in me as a little woman stepping her path through the world of chronic illness.
You see, there has been years of pain, years of suffering… I’ve moved forward so many times I’ve lost count…only, yes you guessed it…BOOM back flat on my face – SICK, oh so sick again!!!
As 2015 ended their was change in the waters AND not as you or I would expect! However, change caused myself to spew all kinds of dreadful lava – it was a FUCKING concoction filled with all kinds of mental, physical and emotional toxins! My goddess vibe was lost, I was choking for air, for life…I FELL from grace! I had failed, my affirmations, my mindfulness in all its glory and I was an ash filled pit …internally I was shouting “STOP WORLD, I CANNOT DO THIS – I WANT OUT!!!!
YES, that’s right… I’ve caught your attention! SUICIDE, no one had seen me looking, researching ways or means BUT in that one split second after an altercation about my pain with doctors that can’t even understand my symptoms, let alone chronic conditions I was out of my ward towards the hospitals main doors! I could escape, I could run in front of a truck, better still a tram AND I WOULD BE IN PEACE!
No, nothing goes to plan when you walk with chronic and destructive illnesses and that is something I am so BLOODY glad of! I am ever so GRATEFUL for a body that fell on the floor and couldn’t get up- I couldn’t take my life!!!! Because in that next split second, I had nurses around me, my doctors, mental health specialists of every kind! They finally were seeing the internal struggles foaming like lava.
That eruption of mental emotion, gave me the key that I had been long searching for. I reached out my hand and there were many hands outstretched alongside mine. They had always been there but being consumed by the mass array of crap stuck in both mind and body I couldn’t see good from bad. Anyway, I and the supporting hands joined as ONE- we reached and we grabbed that key and opened up the door.
From, that very moment the key had opened up tomorrow…there has been such a aura of light! One only if you have felt this that you can imagine. But, with the light, my dreams for my health, my message and mission in life and business was awakened…I was awakened!
I am NOT, the FUCKING hooded villain that lives and breathes pain and so much suffering, I am a goddess born to feel these hurts, so that I can awaken and light up the world with a most mastered and personal message and mission!
What I have learnt across this journey, wandered is that I love myself and I believe in myself AND do you know my journey filtering right back to day dot…I had never loved or believed in myself…so this journey is one that I’ve had to step.
What I mean by “naked & free” is by the way my beautiful bodies soul can now speak with such fluent truth through vulnerability and with such light through torturous healing. So, I now walk to take on the haters, the nay-sayers, the many medico’s that walked away ignorant of what was so wrong with my health. Yes… I am naked and free literally and metaphorically for my journey and yours.
My steps, are far encompassing my little house in Melbourne, Australia. You see, people from as far abroad as London to San Francisco and India to Japan are looking, listening and hearing my words for wandering towards healing and wellness. I walk and I wander and I talk outwardly importantly for me, but also for YOU.
I walk every step using small barefooted steps and blissful breaths because we see how beautiful life is according to every one of our dreams. We must not give up, we must come together so that most important key to finding health and ourselves within the dark mess that is chronically invisible illness.
I want my journey to inspire my tribe, which then shows the greater world just what can be achieved when we walk as one with a much more individually aligned and unconsciously conscious health plan and support team are in place.
STEPPING FURTHER FORWARD- I want you, yes YOU, the one that is ready to give up, the one that is sick of being sick. I want you, the one that everyone tells you that your NOT really sick!!!
YOU ARE PART OF MY TRIBE!
By joining my tribe and no matter how different our individual chronically ill paths are, we walk for presence in the present today and tomorrow. The further we walk, the closer we become one united team building the health and life that we love.
The Tribal Path let’s us;
- Find calmness in our healing
- Gain newly embraced mindset and belief systems
- Appreciate our struggles & celebrations
- Find mindfulness to remove the chronic clutter from mind & body
By walking together we also bring new members in that once were ignorant of our paths BUT now walk with us sharing stories of hope and raising so much wanted awareness. As, we build this beautiful connection of togetherness we are impacting the world with massive amounts of kindness, compassion and action using my original message and mission statement of;
- You will find a path to managing and controlling your chronic health conditions letting you concentrate on living the life that you dream of.
- You will be connected to like minded souls, also making massive healing health and life changes.
- Instead of negative excuses, your mindset will be filled with positive affirmation and intention.
If this is YOU, email me now at email@example.com
Life is beautiful and we must not ever be consumed with the pain of debilitating and destructive illnesses, guilt and self hate, that we give up on our dreams. Let’s walk together, let’s wander towards healing and wellness globally for our health and the millions of future generations that maybe struck down by chronic pain and illness.
SO, I ASK YOU ONCE MORE – “ARE YOU READY TO JOIN MY TRIBE?”
It is FREE and we WANT you.
Email me at firstname.lastname@example.org and let the tribal dance of life as your truest and best self begin.
Gratitude and love to you all and after reading this blog, if this resonates in any way please connect and join the tribe. If you know someone that you think may find my tribe helpful, please share with them. This is not a short journey- this is a long walk to finding health, raising awareness and sharing other goddesses stories . The world needs me and it needs you too.
Till next time,
**Sidenote – I could send gratitude to many and I have many times and I will continue to, but these blessings go out to the beautiful woman in Erin & Ann, (NeuroPhysio & OT) that assist me with gaining my physical strength back. You knew me, better than I knew myself when we first connected. To Dr Lauren Sanders, neurologist who steps outside the normal healing box and brings alternative treatments that work. Dr Mark Pace for never stopping, when other medicos did. My psychologist Peter who has allowed me to unleash a whole lot of cluttered crap that I really didnt want unleashed but now understand what part it played in all of my health complexities. Finally their is first, my husband Paul, who has been there with me through every good,bad and indifferent moment. You are my best friend, my lover and truly I kept going because of you. Secondly and specially mentioned is my youngest son, Joey. He is one of the bravest, smartest, kindest and compassionate kids going around. He has Aspergers (ASD) & a number of genetic and behavioral disorders so life has not been a smooth trek for him either, but he walks everyday with love brimming out of him for me and his father. That’s the love that comes from above and I think filters through him from my late mum who rests above.**
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“Wandering Towards Wellness, Globally”