Been listening to quite a bit of #GeorgeMichael in this last 24 hours as a lot of us probably have. The words from ‘Freedom’ have resonated more than ever for how I wandered life thanks to a narcissistic parent, so much that I’ve penned some ramblings with the help of George’s lyrics;
I won’t let you down dad,
I will not give your vision up.
I won’t let you down,
So please don’t give me up,
Because I would love you to stick around.
BUT abuse, it kills, it wipes out hope!
Your vision it was not real & as just a little girl, it made me even more unsure of what I wanted to be. Teenage years struck & I could flee and it was so easy to become an angel wrapped in devils wings, so hungry for my own pride and joy, and I guess it was enough for me at that time! I was gonna show you dad – I was going to win the race! I would be the prettier face. But, soon I found adulthood & that was not gonna be the way I was going to play the game of life! No way, No Way,NO WAY!
I decided I was gonna get myself happy.
I think there’s something you should know dad
I think it’s time I told you so…..
There’s something deep inside of me – something better than YOU!
There’s someone else I’ve got to be……AND it’s ME!
When I am me, I don’t let anyone down- the vision is real, my life is real!
That picture of you, it’s been missing for years because with it gone I am back singing in the shower and dancing in the rain. I know you won’t understand BUT sometimes your clothes don’t make my life!
All I have to do, now,in my life , is take the lies that you made me live and make them true!!!
All this life needs to see
Is that I don’t belong to you,
And you don’t belong to me.
Freedom, Freedom, Freedom!
I won the race.
I got outta your narcissistic place.
I found my home AND finally I’ve got a brand new face that you’ll never see except if you see this on the TV!
Today, the way I play the game has changed.
Now EVERYDAY , I am gonna let myself be happy.
For me and not for YOU, and that’s something you should know!
I think it’s time I stopped your show – I have and I won’t be back again. I have the POWER, not YOU!!
Well it looks like my road to heaven, is set in sunshine not like the road to hell that you gave me for more than half my life!
You nearly made me take a knife and my life!
There will be no more posing for pictures, It’s time to shake my ass and that’s something you will notice very fast, but hey some mistakes were built to last. That’s what you get, but I’ll hold on to them but I will also hold my freedom, freedom, FREEDOM!
May not be what you want from me but that’s the way it’s got to be. I’ve got to live and by live I mean to be free, not bow and curtsy to your every whim…..
Freedom, freedom, FREEDOM life is mine, NOT yours!
George Michael, you’ve gone but you’ve left a legacy for us all! You’ve given us faith and freedom and so much more!
Freedom, it’s here for us all!
“Wandering Towards Wellness, Globally”