My Why, My How….They Keep Me Awake, They Keep Me Alive!

I should be sleeping or at least resting but something inside me is burning! That something could be the radiation filtering within me, doing its job to kill of angry malignant cells within my brain and the ever growing tumour.

BUT it’s not…….

That something is my desire to do something, so bright for this world and it is becoming my most highest value in and of my whole entire life! 

I have many that inspire me BUT nobody has to motivate me anymore-that’s now deep within my cells.
I keep coming up with many new ways of doing it. New ways of showing the world how to never give up! New ways of educating myself and the world. My why is so big that my how’s are now also taking care of themselves and for so long it was those that held me back!

If you know your why, don’t be afraid of the how’s! Journal with rambled notes, affirmations and intentions and as you keep wandering, walking and working you will align that very why with the how and even the when!
Just do it, I do and it finds the way!

I hope if you like my ramblings, you will like and share my words. Also please connect with me on my other social media channels;

http://www.facebook.com/TheBarefootGoddessAU

http://www.twitter.com/Just_1_Goddess

http://www.instagram.com/the__barefoot__goddess
Wandering Towards Wellness Globally!
The Barefoot Goddess 💋

Stepping from illness to healthy my way!

Let me tell you, bringing back an exercise regime after such a long journey with chronic illness is sought with so much fear and anxiety. But, if I want to have the life that is filled with effervescent energy and clean health, I need to be starting again with rebuilding inner & outer health. So, i have got to do this properly and appropriately. I think bringing an exercise regime will help my body to heal faster physically and allow me to feel so much better  mentally, thus continuing to move forward with my dreams for the future.  But, thinking about this new journey, I also know how important it is to know the limitations that I have as it’s been a very long time since I’ve had fitness incorporated into my everyday. By increasing my activity slowly and with fierce patience, I hope I will be going to avoid injury and get back to a optimum state of health and fitness. Also this new regime will be done by working with my many doctors and rehabilitation specialists particularly my OT (occupational therapist) , NeuroPhysio and my yoga mentors. 


To resume and start this fitness regime after so long I need to make specific precautions to ensure that everything will be ok.

So where do I begin in making my plan;

  • First and foremost my steps to increasing physical therapy is by continual consultations with my doctors, therapists and mentors. The best thing i can do, as I start this exercise plan after being sick for so long is to talk continuously with my team of health professionals as a balancing tool of advocacy. 
  • The next point of call and important factors to remember are to recognise symptoms before and after any exercise I do. Knowing when to keep going or when to stop and seek attention is one action that most causes me some anxiety, but I also know that the thoughts are there because I haven’t done this in a long while.

Acknowledging that I am starting over is vital and no matter how healthy I was before becoming sick , this journey has taken a toll on my body. My bones, muscles and joints are all weaker than before and my stamina and endurance is much lower. Reminder to self – this is normal! Keep telling myself that I am starting over, like it’s my first ever time exercising. I think preparing myself mentally to start slow, will allow myself to increase my activity more and more overtime and will ensure my patience stays strong. I can and I will get fit, it is just going to take time.
One major thing I must remember is that my immune system has been compromised from my many complex conditions, so ensuring I can heal and overcome my illnesses in total means I cannot overwork my body. I know when I overwork myself, I feel unwell for at least the next day or maybe more.

In order for me to be successful with this regime, I need to plan ahead with making goals;

  1.  I will make my goals each week and write them down, so I will be more likely to achieve them – accountability is everything!
  2. I will write down my main goal, and then add smaller goals for one week, only, increasing to two weeks and a month as I progress. 
  3. I need to remember to be realistic and specific in my goals. 
  4. After each exercise session I will write down my accomplishments as a marker to see how far I am moving forward.

Most of all I, need to stay motivated by working to my weekly goals and exercise plans. Because this is a new journey in a while, there are going to be challenging times so working with my team will help me find a success.


So let me begin now by listening to my body. From yoga to cardio, if I can only exercise for 30 minutes each time, because I am feeling exhausted, that’s okay! Be proud of what I achieve in that session.  The most important goal for me, is to be always slightly outside of my comfort zone, without being in pain or having symptoms return. I’ve been ill for a long time, so even walking is a challenge, but with the help of my walker I will progress. I am in a position now, where I can begin. So I am starting small, even getting up to check the mailbox or a lap of the clothesline is a session. Then each day I will slowly and gradually increase the cardio and strength activity using the exercises mapped out by my neurophysio and remembering to incorporate mindfulness with yoga and meditation into each day.

I hope, if you are reading this I may have inspired you to think about starting or restarting a fitness regime after a long journey with illness. If you are able to start, believe me you will not regret the decision as despite the challenges it empowers and awakens mind and body and brings a new level of healing. Just, please make sure you have a wonderful team around you. 

Also remember I am on social media, and I would love for you to come and say hi on any of these channels;

http://www.facebook.com/TheBarefootGoddessAU

http://www.twitter.com/Just_1_Goddess

http://www.instagram.com/the__barefoot__goddess
Healing and healthy hugs to you all,

💋
“Wandering Towards Wellness, Globally”

FEAR – WTF are you?

Fear – WTF are you ?
This time of the year, brings in an abundance of emotions for me as I enter so many medical specialists rooms for review. 

Yesterday was particularly emotionally draining, taking me into a spectrum of myself that I don’t really like but alas one that remains whilst health remains unbalanced. That is fear!
Nonetheless, yesterday came and with my courage I walked into the familiar hospital room and awaited for the appointment with my neurosurgeon . This was an appointment, learning if my inoperable brain tumour was the same as last review, or had it grown! Staying the same size in growth would be the best outcome as it would mean that life remains, wandering as I have been for the last six months, growing internally and healing externally. Unfortunately that best outcome, was not the case – the motherfucking growth inside my head, had not only grown slightly,it was now the size of a small nectarine.
My courage suddenly shrunk, I was immediately moving into a state of fear – in a state of discomfort, exposing myself to a place where I don’t like being. That place is so very vulnerable. But, somehow. I stayed strong and I was able to converse with the neurosurgeon about the best case scenario. Which was to begin a type of radiation therapy that in most cases, kills the live cells within the tumour, stopping any further growth.
This strength I found, in such circumstances,  was me being fearless in the very centre of fear! I had not been able to do fearless, before this! I was at the roundabout, again looking at my old self but seeing who i want to be, no wait actually who i am. This thing, we call fear, it strikes in circumstances that can’t be seen – It then comes and it pulls stronger than gravity itself! The rest of the day became an incredible internal battle where I actually found myself, desperately searching for safety, holding on to every kind of mindful sanity i have come to know. I could easily have cried and God only knows I’ve done a lot of that, I could have screamed , why the fuck does it happen to me BUT in the end it’s about not only staying alive BUT it’s about living the life most important to my truest self.
Yesterday’s moments have truly taught me, what my truest self has been learning over a well walked journey. That learning curve is that, I continually want to grow and embrace new, versions of myself again and again. I definitely know that my true self wants and needs to be in the now, allowing the forward steps to flow like my inner most breath. 
The truest sense of me has broken all of the bull shit boundaries that have been blocking what I want most for life in the whole. With the steps made, I am now able to really show up, filled with a courage but yet with a raw honesty that doesn’t hide from anything or anyone. 

These moments, are the moments that stand still! These moments are those times, when you stand up and say “Fuck this is real and so am I”. When I sit still, like I am now, I can see the parts of me that create fear and courage all in one. That inner vision, allows me to know that everything will always be ok, because when I acknowledge the uneasy moments, life goes on turning discomfort into bliss. This journey becomes an ongoing process that will come and go when I step in and out of life’s movements.
For so long, I’ve been telling myself to find myself and my truest purpose. Yesterday, proved I’ve done it – well it’s in progress. I’m not only finding the path to my truest self but I am also wandering towards the destination of my purposeful message. 
This path of mine, wandered with chronic health conditions, some known and others leading me with a blackened mask have been one of the hardest I’ve had to endure. But since,acknowledging all of my fucked up shit, I’ve been able to step into fear as a companion. 

From, this moment, I want to take on life as an opportunity to be brave, to be courageous. I want to come alive and show myself and the world who I really am. I am not my complex health conditions, I am me, a woman of substance and so many variances.  I can do this…..I am doing this. 

Fear, WTF…….you’ve brought me home! Home to ME.
These are lessons learnt over a long walk but which make me so proud and if you are walking a similar path I hope I may have helped you see something in yourself. 

Please like and share if you do! Also make sure you connect with me on my social media channels;

http://www.facebook.com/TheBarefootGoddessAU

http://www.twitter.com/FND_Goddess

http://www.instagram/the_barefoot_goddess
“Wandering Towards Wellness, Globally”

Hold my hand and let us heal together…

Healing and recovery takes time, it can’t be rushed and oh so even more becomes true to my heart as I listen to many speak of their wish to be well but not knowing what to do, because they are feeling so alone. The healing journey that we embark on is often filled with imperfect moments, but as we keep moving forward those moments wrap us with so much love and light.


So, I began thinking and wow when this happens – I go deep into thought! 

Then, all of a sudden it became clear. If you are on a healing and/or recovery journey, I am inviting you to join hands with me, so that we can generate, develop and deepen our  gratitude and begin a journey of awakening and aligned health.

How will this work? I want us to connect and honor our lives from this very moment – yes right NOW!

I want us to help one another find power in our bodies everyday .

This can be done through mindfulness, so let us begin if you dare;

 I want us everyday, to sit up straight,  if that is comfortable for you. Let us place our feet flat on the ground, barefoot if possible. You may prefer however to join me sitting in lotus or cross legged position, again with our backs straight. Then we will place one hand on our lower abdomens and one hand on our hearts.


By doing this on a daily basis, we are empowering our inner most soul, if you like – we are saying hello, telling ourselves how much we care for ourselves. Our bodies and souls and are seeking healing hands and by wandering together using these strategies we can support each other in this process. 

As we sit, now it’s most important to say;

  • I love myself, I honor and appreciate myself having the power to help me connect more deeply to myself.
  • I am most grateful for the support that I receive on my healing journey.

 By either chanting these words or just meditating on them, you are calling  on you. You are giving yourself so much respect for all you have done and not done. You are also appreciating everything that life has helped or is helping to give to you.

This is mind power or mental wellness and it helps us to visualise an abundance of beautiful lights that wander throughout our bodies on any given day . When we can dive more deeply into ourselves, we can nourish ourselves with this and so much more love and light. 

Is this mental wellness or regime of mind power part of your daily regime? If it is, what do you visualise and when you do, what do you look like. I would love to know? If you haven’t begun a mental wellness daily regime, how could you begin to add this into your day. If this has helped you, please like and share my post. Also connect with me on my social media channels;

http://www.facebook.com/TheBarefootGoddessAU

http://www.twitter.com/Just_1_Goddess

http://www.instagram.com/the__barefoot__goddess


“Wandering Towards Wellness Globally”

Once upon a dark time has turned into divine shiny me time….

Once upon a time there was this barefoot little lady so lost in the dark that she had no energy for anything in life….so divine time and selfcare time fell to the land of whatever, whenever and never!

She then awakened as me…….and finding divine me time with the truest form of self care & self love being created.


I work so hard on healing my health and life for me and the greater world, that is so beautiful to find products that bring me to life. In looking for products, I am so focused on finding natural and environmentally friendly products. 


One product that ticks these boxes and also repairs my damaged locks is Hello Hair. I love the fact that their products are vegan – yes that means, no animal products are going into your hair or body and products have been tested free of cruelty. I apply Hello Hair to my  hair once a week, and I can see such a difference already. My dry stressed out hair is truly recovering with the hydrating hair mask. It is so easy to use, I use it in my normal shower applying the mask  and then washing it out by shampooing and conditioning my  hair as normal but you can use it on dry hair. I am finding that Hello Hair products are assisting me in managing my dry, flaky scalp issues that many of my autoimmune health conditions cause. I can tell you honestly the hair mask leaves my hair feeling softer and healthier.  Step into some divine you time by perhaps checking out Hello Hair.

I hope where ever you are, you are finding some self care time – it’s so very important for optimum health and life.


Much love ❤️ 

Make sure you connect with me on my social media channels;

http://www.facebook.com/IAmFNDAware

http://www.twitter.com/FND_Goddess

http://www.instagram.com/the_barefoot_goddess 
“Wandering Towards Wellness, Globally”

As the rambles continue…..

You know those days & even when you live a clean and free life , you will have them……don’t squash them in – let them out…… rant them, cry them, scream them……

Shadows that scream when I’m alone EVEN when I’m not alone….ahhhh yes it’s just that I’ve got a migraine! It’s the internal war that rages behind my face and above my throat!My pain will be up, down, and sideways!

BUT let it be said what the headache represents is me defending in suspense!

It’s me suspended in a defenseless test!

Being tested by a ruthless universe examiner !

One moment of weakness , doesn’t mean you’ve failed, it doesn’t mean you’ve been defeated- it’s you stopping to rest, stopping to restore! Let that headache, that migraine heal and tomorrow you will be strong again! You will stand and you will conquer!

#iamthebarefootgoddess , if you resonate please like and share my blogs as by sharing our stories we raise awareness and inspire each other . Also remember to join me on my social media channels;

http://www.facebook.com/IAmFNDAware

http://www.twitter.com/FND_Goddess

http://www.instagram.com/the__barefoot__goddess

#migraines #ajourneyintime #testingme #teachingme #breatheingoddess #kundalinirising #kundalinihealing #iwalkandiwander #Findingpeace #findingme #beingme #joinmeonthisjourney
“Wandering Towards Wellness,Globally”

Declaring mental, physical & financial bankruptcy….

Anyone who knows me well, will agree that I like to do everything myself. Due to STIGMA, I  even hid the severity of my illnesses for a long time and in part lead me to nearly succeeding in suicide last year. 


Deciding to be fully transparent and honest in declaring my mental, physical and financial bankruptcy  is somewhat freeing and has allowed me to step into healing and living and loving a life that I want and need too.live  Opening  up,  has also helped me  realise my life mission and purpose and that is to better educate the world about chronic and mental health illnesses . I believe talking outwardly it has improved my health conditions and I want to help millions of others around the world to improve theirs too.

I want to tell you, that being a woman that has succumbed to chronic physical and  mental health issues, it has been a struggle with a sense of guilt because of my many conditions, both physical and mental symptoms at times, make me feel like I was a burden or that I was causing trouble for my loved ones . This sense of guilt creates an anxiety that withers strengh  away when unchecked. Sinking, deeper and darker forces you out of life because that physical and mental pain  is unbearable – you are then unable to make a living, so as well as health being bankrupt, so are your finances. This is when life becomes non existence because you are so horribly ill, that you cannot work but because you are hiding the severity , your loved ones and the greater environment cant see the true extent of your problems.

I felt a failure for so long but since becoming fully transparent , I now know none of my health illnesses or my financial woes  are to be blamed….what has occurred , has occurred. It is now about recovery in aspects of life so that I can keep moving forward on my life journey. By reducing the feeling of guilt within myself ,  my anxiety that comes from it, has lessened too. I am no longer shy to speak about my down times, because I am becoming aware of just how many people just like me there are around the globe in similar circumstances and they too are fearful of putting their hands up for help because of the STIGMA that shades invisible illnesses. 

Standing up was really hard to do, and it was only for the fact that I failed at suicide that I am now where I am, but I’ve found that for myself, changing the way I think, breathe and live can make lifes wandering so much easier. 

 I now, try not to put myself in situations where I might have the temptation to hide even if it’s with the intention to avoiding hurting someone’s feelings. I find it helpful to breathe and speak an honest life because not only can I avoid the negative physical and mental effects, but I can be help others see that it’s ok to do the same. Sometimes now , as I speak it may be hurtful but it’s not about anyone in particular, it’s to explain how thoughts and feelings can cause negative connotations to mental and physical health and as spoken about when left unchecked it can badly affect all areas of life.
It’s not to say that I don’t hide myself anymore, because I do. But when you make it your goal to show your journey in total and that’s the good, bad and indifferent it’s very freeing for yourself and then others living similar chronic illness journeys  begin to follow on. This is the beginning  of raising awareness and just perhaps the beginning to ease the state of stigma. By telling the true chronically invisible health story I am showing that there is no need to feel guilty  and  finally the larger community and globe can learn and treat these health and life issues better.

If you need help, please don’t feel weak or not good enough to receive it! When, we step ourselves out into the world and let them hear our stories, we let the sun, shine through and so the stress, the hardship becomes bearable and thus healing really begins.

If you resonate with my story please like and share my post and let me know.

Lots of love 

The Barefoot Goddess 💋

Please also connect with me on social media at;

http://www.facebook.com/IAFNDAware

http://www.twitter.com/FND_Goddess

http://www.instagram.com/the__barefoot__goddess 
“Wandering Towards Wellness, Globally “