When you live with chronic illness you may experience an immense heartache because of the loved ones who walk away. This is so for me, and I know so for many other people struggling to live with chronic pain and illness. It’s unfortunately inevitable that when you are chronically ill, they will affect relationships you have with friends and family, etc – it doesn’t really matter who it is because our chronic illnesses don’t care.
This is the sad reality, of chronic illness and it shows the true colors of the people that surround you at sometimes the most vulnerable. You become aware of just who actually cares enough to stick by your side when you and your health follow the long and winding roads of chronic illness. I can tell you, from personal experience It disappoints, shocks, sadden and even crushes me how some people will be during your most low times. Not all loved ones show support in the same ways, and again in my experience some do a five star job, but their are others that will wipe you completely. It’s just not very nice to see those loved ones walking away because we do not choose our illnesses and we definitely can’t change them. Appearances and even attitudes can be changed but we can’t change our illnesses and when a loved one may walk away many of us that live with chronic illness struggle with deep and dark anxiety and depression that accompanies our already harsh illnesses.
I often try to decipher what has wiped away some of my loved ones and I know it is very hard for them to even fathom my life, my pain, my struggles. This journey has taught me that different people handle chronic illness very differently. Some are caring and supportive, some wipe you from their life, many talk behind your back, others are just left confused and then their are some that just tire of hearing about the journey. I know I get tired of wandering this journey that changes directions so many times and I am certain this is why people like me, try to tough out life with chronic illness, acting as normal as possible, saying we are ok, when really we feel simply horrible.
Walking a life within and through chronic illness judged or doubted by loved ones is devastating. My pain is real. My illnesses are real and the reason why I wander globally telling my story is for awareness and to be a voice not only for myself but also for the many others also struggling to make sense if their journeys.
Life is hard enough and I hope one day, cures can be found for our illnesses that consume us and when this happens, I can only hope too that those loved ones who judged and or walked away from us may see that we were the goddesses and warriors fighting such horrible battles and perhaps reunions may occur.
I hope if you have resonated or connected with similar journeys that time eases pain but know you are not alone. If you need somebody to see this please share.
It’s these journeys that we need to remember clearly that it’s so important to walk together, not tear each other down.