Murky Water, Clear Skies, Journal Entries & Getting The Fuck Up To Bloom Like A Lotus Flower….It Is Me!

As I close down for the evening, the quote 

“It’s in the murkiest waters we patiently await arrival of the lotus”

explains and defines my journey with life, health and again to life as it is supposed to be, because you see there was a time where the path was murky, dim, gloomy & oh so hard to see clearly through to the next day, everyday and any day!

The waves have been rough to beat and there were moments when the darkness and strength broke me, but……it was at that moment of being broken that the words being visualised from a online mentor came through in dreams something like this;

“Get The FUCK Up & Make That Vision Happen”.

Shit, after all those years as a entrepreneur wanna be, a woman struggling to stay alive with chronic illness and disease, I was receiving the key of life…..if you like, a seed of a beautiful flower had been placed into my loins. Those words in visual dreams have stayed with me and over and over that attitude has kept me pushing towards the vision, my vision!

With further patience, I  am allowing myself to keep wading through the murky water and to my surprise that water it is becoming clearer and to the surface I am like a beautiful lotus beginning to bloom. Its roots , my roots have been deep in muddy water, for a long time , such a long time but just as  the lotus flower, rises, I too am rising from the dark gloomy mud to bloom in the sunshine.  I am clean, fragrant and pure!

My next steps, are important ones, but I am ready! The world is ready! I have just again grasped the world in my hands and I am ready to play BIG and I want the other chronic illness goddesses like me to want to play big too?

So, my message to you that is reading this – if you are stuck deep in the mud, stay patient, keep your faith – follow mentors, online, in real life, write your vision down , pray on it , visualise it, manifest it and when questions get asked and those questions are opened through dreams , you are being given that key or  perhaps that seed – it’s time to stand up, it’s your time to rise from the mud like me!

 “SO, WILL YOU WALK WITH ME & MAKE LIFE BLOOM”

But for now let me turn down the lights, sit in silence using my breath and rest, so that we can again wander towards wellness tomorrow.

Blessings From My Journal

The Blessed Goddess

💋
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Wandering Towards Wellness, Globally

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So Dark & So Deep Are The Secrets That You Keep….

So how much do I want life?  How much do I love life?  How deep and dark are the secrets that I keep?These are the questions I’ve been pondering!?!

What appears to be such a long time ago but it really isn’t that long ago…..I saw pain, I felt pain in the realism of wanting the very best , to be the very best for me and my only true beloved and wanted life and career!
It began at the age of three and YES from about 11 to the age of 17, all I breathed, all I wanted was to be a professional ballerina! I practiced, I breathed , I bled , cried and screamed!

When the blessed journey came crashing down , I guess that was when life began to fall down as well. That evil monster who deemed dance was not a life journey – that monster, hid me, destroyed me and punished me for years !
Life in all its entirety never really had the same oomph – There was no stage, there was no reason! 


Over the future forward years,  because my truest self had died, life died and became filled with unwanted pursuits and illness! 

2016, found me destitute and in suicides hive – it was then I realised that life could still be lived, life could still be loved! The dream for everything wanted, is never over! Age, illness, life’s journey it is all dependent on us not the circumstance or numbers! Believe in your stance and most inner breath! Be the goddess, be the strength that is within!


I have been awakened and I have been aligned to my truest self – that self in tutus , pink tights, practice leotards & ballet shoes . That self is a member of the 1% in the 1% and I have success within my veins for obtaining top level love and life because I know what it takes to get there!

So today, let me take you on a journey to find you , not what everyone wants to see, BUT that you that you are! It begins with that little person of long ago – yes she is still there – AWAKEN HER NOW!

Step up onto the stage of life, with the much loved pointe shoes on and feel all of those broken toes, bruises and abrasions . Feel the pain, feel the joy and dance on because it’s what makes you live! If you have narcissists telling you , that is not the life journey- cast them aside because honey, this life is you, of course it’s your life journey! 
I stood in the darkness for way too long – but no one is ever too old to be what ever they are truly meant to be! Get out and shine…..

This is me, I am alive, I am able to shine because I have the pain bringing me back to the joy of life…..and before I step out on my stage, I never forget to breathe and know that this is where I am meant to be and it’s why I can’t help but smile.

Resonate with me, don’t forget to like and share.

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“Wandering Towards Wellness, Globally”

Every Morning-Everyday 

Every morning awaken with intention to thank the world for what’s been AND for what is to be! I do this through meditation, through journaling and through inner guidance and silence.

How will you awaken today?

#meditation #yoga #kundalini #awaken #seekbliss #findbliss #everymorning #everyday 
For #iamthebarefootgoddess #alittlebitcarriebradshaw #alittlebitbadassfeminist and I will shine a light for all like me that #wandertowardswellnessglobally
#blogger #yogagoddess #meditationgoddess #solopreneur #yoginipreneur 
Namaste 🙏🏻 
Wander across and connect on social media with me;

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“Wandering Towards Wellness, Globally”

The Day Begins With Breakfast.

Living with chronic invisible and debilitating illnesses leave me drained, lethargic and so exhausted! There have been many days over weeks, months and years that I’ve awoken and have not been able to begin with breakfast. I have learnt through experience and study, that skipping this first meal of the day is harmful for health. There is a reason that, it’s called ‘breakfast’, because it’s the time where we all need to break the fast that has been from the previous night. Through my healing journey with Functional Neurological Disorder and other debilitating chronic illnesses, I want to help others be aware of the importance of looking after ourselves so much better.

It has been proven through research that the skipping breakfast causes many of the major illnesses that we all know about – these include; obesity, high blood pressure, high cholesterol, and diabetes and many others. But did you know that skipping breakfast can cause harm to our internal organs and muscles if we are not energising our cells and hormones. This can cause many other illnesses that many know very little about. Learning to eat a healthy morning breakfast benefits us with balancing energy levels for memory, body and brain.

Morning breakfast is one way that we can restore our health and rebuild a life that has been debilitating destroyed from chronic illness. If we don’t eat breakfast, then by the time the middle of the day comes and we haven’t correctly fed ourselves , our internal system is becoming imbalanced and this can cause such a negative impact on brain and body the more we wander a path using wrong nutrition steps. I know, because this was me. It left me with a distressed digestive system and body furthering the impact with worsening health. 

So my journey to wandering towards wellness has had to change, so that I can begin to live a life that I love. Let me tell you, there are mornings that eating is the furthest thing from my mind, if I haven’t slept well or if pain is at high levels. But, I am reeducating myself to know that a morning breakfast routine can not go missing on any day. A good start tothe  morning, may begin with different groups of foods, these may include hints like;

  • Toast 
  • Porridge 
  • Eggs
  • Yogurt 
  • Fruits 
  • Juices or Juice smoothies 
  • Coffee/Tea
  • Warm lemon and coconut oil water

Perhaps, if you need to be up earlier in the morning for an appointment and instead of skipping your breakfast you could plan foods or drinks that you can take with you. These may include;

  • Juices/Juice smoothies 
  • Chia puddings
  • Yoghurt & fruit 

What is important that you find a nutritional content that works for you and your body. For me personally, I now will be starting each day with a freshly made juice or juice smoothie and what makes it easy, is that after I have shopped I will food prepare all of my weekly juices in freezer bags, so that no matter how I feel I only need to go to the freezer and get my portion out and blitz it in my juicer or blender. Breakfast is made in a instant and most days I’ve given my body so many nutrients in order to heal and regain energy and health.

Don’t keep skipping breakfast which is bad for health. Start a new routine that will give you a reenergised energy for each and every day and I will certainly drink to that.
Much love 

Lisa-Raie

AKA (The barefooted FND goddess) 💋

Please connect with me here or across on my social media channels;

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“Wandering Towards Wellness Globally”

Choosing Me, Chooses Health & Life….❤️

Today, I felt compelled to fully commit to the world that I have gone without the feelings of being sassy and soulful for so long. BUT, I can tell you that falling down hard at the beginning of this year was the catalyst of me taking true authentic and very vulnerable action towards truly healing and becoming me and oh gosh I am again believing in myself and beginning to breathe so much sass and soul for my health and my life. I am now free to empower wisdom on why choosing ME allows true healing and a life to love. ❤️ 


I hope, that if you are seeing and hearing this message today you may be inspired and empowered to take action on yourself  finding a life to love.

Connect here or on one of my social media channels;

http://www.facebook.com/IAmFNDAware

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http://www.instagram.com/fnd_goddess

Snapchat me 👻@simply_lisaraie 👻

“Wandering Towards Wellness”

Breathing Through Chronic Illness With Meditation 🙏🏻

If you are like me, I don’t have to tell you that living with chronic illness can be at times unbearable. I know I do everything I can to get through days and nights – I try moving but that hurts, I rest but that hurts, so I do nothing but that hurts more! So by the end of each day, I’ve taken the maximum dose of painkillers that I could but the ache is overwhelming and consuming every breath. It’s a vicious circle that rotates endlessly.
But, as I’m having to deal with the chronic pain and endless number of physical symptoms that hurt – it’s also my mind that is also hurting . Questions, questions, many questions consistently overload my brain with such things of being unable to deal and cope with the ongoing pain and illness and all I’m asking is that I just want it to stop – I JUST WANT IT TO ALL GO AWAY – but it doesn’t!
This has been my constant thoughts and feelings over many years but I find of recent weeks it’s back with a vengeance! Pain insomnia wreaks havoc on living, so the only thing that I can do is to fight back against these moments of excessive chronic pain and illness so that I don’t fall back into a spiralling doom of despair.
Last night, I switched off from social media and connected back into a mindful space with meditation. A number of years ago, I found yoga and meditation and I found that it reduced my chronic pain and illness immensely and I was able to learn the principles and I began actually teaching it. However, as I stepped up the energy levels, my chronic illnesses stopped me in my tracks again. I could no longer do or teach yoga because of paralysis and weakness and so meditation fell by the wayside too. Being in a zone with insomnia for over a fortnight, has lead me to think about ways of not falling backwards-the breath of mindfulness has come back. I know very well that this mindful action soothes my mental and physical angst. I have no idea if I can bring myself back to being able to no longer feel pain with the intensity that I am, but if I bring back my focus to the breath just possibly I can help untangle the thick fog that insomnia lands me in.

So back to meditation i go. What meditation does is focus on different parts of my body simply using my breath.  It allows me to see my mind and body in action and to feel the pain sensations as they rise within my body and then let go of them using calming deep breaths. I did not think I would have success straight away, but I was amazed by the difference. Last night, has been my best night for about a fortnight. You see, just by bringing my calming breath back into play my chronic pain insomnia and intolerable nerve pain and twitches began to melt and I was able to rest and was able to sleep – YES SLEEP.

I know my pain arises from my multiple chronic illnesses and the damage to my bodies nervous system and what is like a speaker in my brain leading the intensity of mind and body suffering. From studying different forms of mindfulness and from my personal health experiences, I’ve learnt that my mind does not simply feel pain, it also processes all the information that it holds. Its like my mind, zooms in on my pain looking for away to take it away but instead what my mind is doing is causing my pain and or hurting to be louder. Before long I’m in periods of excessive pain and illness and insomnia is causing me more hurting. I know, if I don’t do something I will end up being consumed again by my excessive anxieties, stresses and worries as well as my physical pain.  As I spoke earlier about in an instant the vicious circle of downward spiralling is with me again, which hurts and  impairs my healing process and leads to even more hurting.

So it is time to again, step into handling my pain and hurting differently to how I currently am. I need to lay my hands open to the powerful effect of mindfulness so that I can better control my pain. I know personally when focused, that mindfulness does turn my volume control down on pain. It also lessens my anxiety, stress and the depression that it has brought me. Using mindfulness, my mind and body can again truly relax and perhaps in conjunction with my medication and other problems which include my memory loss may improve as well as my mental and physical energy. As I’m writing this I’m wondering – WHY THE HELL, DID I GIVE UP MY MEDITATION!

So come forward – I’ve found a wonderful app called “InsightTimer” – you may want to have a look at http://www.insighttimer.com . This app, has over 2000 different meditations- I regularly search the different rest, relaxation and sleep meditations and I’ve again found that stepping into following the guided sessions I can use mindful activity as a powerful painkiller in conjunction with my other medications to assist my steps walking forward.
If you would like to give meditation a go, I would suggest looking for the app I spoke of but also practising getting your mind and body to relax. This is an activity I use and its best practiced in a quiet area. Don’t worry if your mind wanders. Mine does, so don’t get mad with yourself. When it happens, just bring the awareness back to your breath and concentrate on the part of the body  where your mind wandered. As you focus on each part of the body, listen to how your body is feeling.

So let’s begin the practise;

I will generally Lie on the floor, my bed or my sofa, letting my legs lay relaxed and slightly apart. I place my hands on my tummy (presently I have a paralysed right arm so I place that hand under my left, so it stays in place. I will close my eyes and sink myself into the floor. Next I focus on my breath – listening and feeling as it flows in and out of my body. I will just lay still noticing how my breath is, feeling the rhythm of each breath in and out with as much detail as i can – doing this allows me to really connect inward. I will start at my toes and work up – spending a few minutes with each area of my body feeling how it feels in temperature and with pain. As you breathe in, hold your breath and then slowly exhale in each breath, I use the count of 4 and then again to the count of 4, I exhale. I will often spend more time on particular areas of my body that are feeling worse pain. Once I’ve listened I will move my awareness to the next area of my body. I will stop and observe what i find for a minute. So basically it’s about breathing deeply in, holding your breath and then exhaling observing from your toes up all the way to the top of my head. Once I’ve reached my head I will spend a couple of minutes observing my whole body breathing as one. Slowly I will open my eyes and bring myself back to my surroundings. What I find, is that there is a calmness across my body, I may still have pain but my body is in a state of awareness that allows me to either continue with my day or settle into a restful space for night.

I hope that this post has been of help for you, if you’ve been thinking of trying to incorporate mindfulness and meditation into your life and chronic illness journey. If it resonates with you or perhaps you want to know more about my journey, please don’t hesitate to connect with me here or across on my social media channels.

http://www.facebook.com/IAmFNDAware

http://www.twitter.com/FND_Goddess

http://www.instagram.com/fnd_goddess

Much love

LR – The Barefoot Goddess 💋

 

My Walk With Invisible Illness…..

We are in the middle of Invisible Illness Awareness Week, so i’ve been thinking of a way to talk about what it actually is and how it affects me.

So to define invisible illness;

Invisible illnesses are chronic illnesses and conditions that significantly impair normal activities of daily living. 

The definition, tells us what it does but their are so many different spectrums of invisible illness, that everyone’s experience is different. My journey with invisible illness involves a complex list of illnesses, which include; fibromyalgia, mixed connective tissue disease including lupus SLE and Wegeners Granulomatosis, Ulcerative Colitis, anxiety, depression and functional neurological disorder. Each one of my illnesses joined together mix a chronic cocktail to significantly impair my life walk.

So, I’ve defined invisible illness and what it is to me, now what does a average day look like. This, is difficult to describe because everyday can be so very different to everyone that lives with these most chronic and varied conditions. So let me tell you a little bit about of how invisible illness can affect me, on any given day. My invisible illnesses leave me feeling so exhausted, that I feel like I am clinging to the edge of life but because nobody can see what and how I’m feeling, many times people judge me and tell me that what I’m feeling is not real, other times that I’m just a failure and many times,” oh Lisa Raie you are looking so well” but seriously I may be having one really bad day. Having people say these type of things, makes living with such chronic and complex invisible illnesses oh so, very lonely as I get so tired of having to prove my illnesses. I have infact lost many people along my journey. For the ones that I still call family, friends and colleagues they know that plans may need to be changed or postponed when pain and illness cause immense problems.  


Every day  I do the best I can, if I need to sleep, I now sleep, if I need to change booked commitments, I will change or cancel and if I’m told that I’ve let someone down – I just have to deal with it. It is hard to take when people get angry or upset, but I know that as much as I try and make them understand they can’t – why because unless you live with these chronically hidden illnesses, you can never feel what I am feeling. Many times, I’ve felt like saying – ” I wish you could feel what I feel ” but seriously I would never want anyone to feel what I live with.


Living with such invisible illnesses has taught me to be strong at times when I thought that my time maybe up. I’ve learnt what never giving up really means and it’s why I’m now wandering the globe talking and sharing my experiences so that those uneducated and ignorant to invisible illness become aware. When we can all walk together, it is my hope that further help, assistance and change can be given to all the invisible illness warriors and goddesses.
If you’ve resonated with my words, please connect with me over on my social media channels because we all walk as one and it would be great to walk as one together rather than tearing each other apart.

💋

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