Why I’ve changed my name…..and begun a new life. 💋

A lot of people are asking me – why have you changed your name from “Lisa Raie” to “Harmoni Shakti”?

  Well, let me explain;

Changing my name so dramatically isn’t something many do, so it is probably why so many people are asking me why???  I could keep answering the questions as they come, but I thought it would be good and insightful to tell the story of why I changed it, what the process is like and what Ive learned from it.

Why I did I change my name  –  Well, firstly let me say changing my name is not an easy process and I’ve had to take lots of things into account, still am. But one main reason of why I did it – was my stepping outside of the abuse that I had long endured as a child AND changing the name was the final key that allowed me to step into my truest self, the healing I’ve needed to live the life I love .  My old name gave me too many bad memories! That  person, that me with the old name continually felt squashed with anxiety and illness. Being called the old name I felt like I was always being spat on or as a lesser woman and I could not truly wander towards healing and wellness as I wanted.

Having these thoughts continually spiking my every breath, became monotonous on physical, emotional and mental health. All I ever tried to do was to fit in at school and life, the last thing I expected was that I had to basically wrestle with my father  over how I was expected to be. I was expected to be that “Little Lisa” – seen and not heard! 
Of course – living a life like that was intolerable! I wanted to be free, I wanted the best but I didn’t like being told that I was not good enough, or no you can’t do that – that’s not professional enough! As I was releasing the abuse that came from this childhood, I knew I wanted to change my name. I knew I wanted to choose a unique name that almost nobody else in the world had. I also knew that I wanted my name to flow with the spirit of the soul that I was awakening too.

And so with my new name chosen, which I must tell you,  I think it is pretty cool, but it’s also fiercely freeing and cathartic as I continue to release the many things that have ever held me back. It has also begun a true continuation of the healing journey back to optimum wellness that I have been attempting for over ten years. All of this, also is in a sense, me being in control of a life after seemingly having no control for many many  years!  

Going back to the decision, I knew changing my name was also the right thing to do, as I had never been very tied to the name and I think it was because of the abuse that I had endured.  As a teenager, was the first occasion I began to outgrow my given name. I don’t place a lot of importance on the still living people from my family,  because simply we don’t have anything in common and I don’t want to be  abused anymore. I am now me, with a new name with the truthful self now able to stand in the everyday status of the world helping myself but also helping others. I also think, in my case, the ties with my narcissistic father choosing my name was another reason that the change had to be made.  I know that most of my family members and friends who now know I’ve changed my name are not upset, although they can’t understand why Ive done it and maybe they never will! I have no contact with my abusive father but I do know, he would think my decision was stupid and probably as a matter of revenge. 

So begins the process of changing my name, it legally is very tough.  The legal process now, is about the convenience of having my preferred name match my legal name and an exciting new chapter in my life. It has brought up some tough feelings towards particularly my father and how I feel about my childhood. It also brings up memories of a mother now not living , but I know she would of supported this decision.  I kind of expected these feelings, that come and go and by formally following the name changing  process, I can continue to get some deep issues out in the open as a result of my name change and truly heal physically, mentally, emotionally and spiritually. Choosing my new name is a weird process. Basically, I could choose anything I wanted to, so long as it is deemed appropriate by the Registry of Births, Deaths and Marriages. There is a lot of paperwork as I said before to get my name changed legally, and I am still deciding between two name variations: “Harmoni Shakti” and “Harmoni Raie Shakti”. The name has to be accepted as appropriate. I also have to specify a reason for changing it in more detail than simply “personal” or “professional reasons.” This is why I am now using my new name already. I am hoping my reason for change, that it is confusing for my legal name to not match my professional name.

Changing my name has made me think a lot more about the importance of what our names mean to us in every way. I mean, have you ever thought about your name and how you use it throughout your life, how you associate your name with your personality. It really is interesting to ponder, just how much our names affect our lives. For those that see my name change as offensive, especially towards my family or just unnecessary, I hope I have given some insight and clearance but I will not get upset by your thoughts or actions as it is my decision and in the end it’s my life that I am living.

 Changing my name has made me feel good in terms of bucking the status quo and questioning things that I have taken for granted for years and years and the confidence it has also given me, is beyond clear that this  is the right decision. Here is the thing, that I’ve noticed since changing my name, when I’m having a bad day and I look in the mirror, the first thing that pops into my head is my birth name. I don’t know why – BUT then I will repeat to my reflection; “Good Bye old soul – I’m the new, improved me with the new, improved name – stand proud and shine.” Do you know what happens, I shine. Those bad days are becoming less and less as my confidence and the healing process becomes more dominant. My old self with the old name was never in control. But being the new woman with the new name, i can be my fiercely independent self that I’ve always wanted and thus healing and important life decisions can be made lived and loved.

So moving on with a life to love,  I feel like my new name represents me better as who I am now. I am Harmoni, the barefoot goddess shining a light using yoga and meditation to raise awareness and guidance for healing and loving life.

Much love 

Harmoni (AKA The Barefoot Goddess) 💋

Please connect with me on my social media channels;

http://www.facebook.com/IAmFNDAware

http://www.twitter.com/FND_Goddess

http://www.instagram.com/the__barefoot__goddess
“Wandering Towards Wellness, Globally “



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2 thoughts on “Why I’ve changed my name…..and begun a new life. 💋

  1. This is fairly similar to my story in parts, nothing in here is surprising or weird to me!
    Similarities;
    •my biological hazard was a narcissist too.
    •he demanded to name me at birth.
    •he went on to disown me at age 13.

    As he disowned me just before high school, and my step dad stepped in as my father figure, I took his surname and my mums middle name, at the end of high school I made it official and as my 18th birthday present (my choice) I was able to legally change it 🙂

    What I didn’t know this whole time was that he had demanded to name me at birth. When I found that out at 26, all the healing I’d done from the past was turned on its head, every time I heard my name (formerly Clare (Alyce Witcomb)), or wrote it down, I felt confused and hurt all over again, because I will never be able to reconcile how you can love a baby so much you demand to name it and then go on to disown it just 13 years later? I’d never get an honest answer for any questions (as you well know having a narcissist as a parent), and getting in touch again would be a pointless exercise in which I would just inflict more pain and trauma on myself. -he never physically abused me, just mentally and emotionally, he did used to hit my brother in anger, which is why my mum left him, it was the only way she could protect my brother, even just half of the time.

    If I’m honest I think part of the reason he disowned me was, because the last time we saw him he was trying to justify backhanding my brother so hard in the face he fell off his camp chair. I turned into the backseat and saw my little brother head hung down, I knew he couldn’t confront his abuser. So I did it for him. Right there in the car at 13, I didn’t back down. I told him it was child abuse not parenting and it was his fault. He got more and more ridiculous in his comebacks “you know your mother wears G strings to pleasure herself!?” -as I said, I didn’t back down, every time he said something or accused something I had a response, a good one, in the end he shut up. I won. For my brother and I both. He never showed up to pick us up for a visit again, I called him and asked if he was coming to pick us up ever? He said no. I said that’s fine (and then asked to speak to the step sister -that’s another story of victory! Lol).

    As for choosing Charlotte, that’s even more interesting!

    My mum miscarried a baby before I was born, it was a girl and she named her Charlotte after her great grandmother.
    I was born on Charlotte Anne East’s Birthday. She had 12 kids, my great grandmother had 13 (so you can imagine how big the decedent family is!), no one but me has been born on her birthday.
    I don’t believe in coincidence! I believe my soul, knowing my father (this being the second life he has abandoned me in), wanted a back up name, just in case, a name given to me by my mother.
    So I spoke to my mum about my beleifs and it was healing for both of us!

    Name changes are so important and powerful (numerology), more people should do it!

    Thank you for sharing your story Harmoni!

    Bless xx

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thank you for sharing your story Charlotte and makes me even more clear why we have connected. Life, even how we came to be is so very profound. What I am learning from healing is that I don’t need to be filled with the abuse from another time and by changing my name, I’ve found so much clearance and clarity about my future steps.
      Much love to you ❤

      Like

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