Living with multiple chronic illnesses is hard – NO, WAIT ITS ALMOST IMPOSSIBLE AT TIMES!!!!!
This week, if you’ve been following my journey, you would of seen it’s been immensely difficult. Getting to the end of this week and knowing I didn’t want to spiral any further down the gurgling dark hole again – I knew that I needed to shift the energy caused by my chronic health battle. I needed to make things happen, rather than just evolving by letting them happen repeatedly. I’ve come to learn that I am more than these illnesses that crush my existence, so that’s just what I did. I realised, I could own my power.
What do I mean, that I could own my power? Well for me, the new inner power came because I allowed thoughts of being supported by myself, for myself. Finding my own power has allowed me to release and truly let the magic replace the irritating experiences of darkness. I’m not saying, that I’ve removed the chronic pain and illness flares that build up inside my body, no not at all- but what I’ve found is by giving myself back the power- I can be in charge of what happens, in these times and not my health complexities.
- These last two days, having this newly understood power feels wonderful and I want to be able to have these feelings stay with me, as I wander towards wellness and a life that is loved. So, let me give you my thoughts on how I’ve found my power and how I will keep it shining through in each day.
- For way to long, I’ve had to wander around and around within my chronic illnesses, at times feeling like I am a tangled ball of yarn. My illnesses have controlled everything past, present and everything in between, leaving me unable to breathe my positive thoughts on life as I wanted it to be. Through these thoughts, negative consciousness connects and all of a sudden life becomes dark. These thoughts and the situations become reoccurring patterns of behaviour and soon enough the power is lost. Thinking about this as the last week kept disappearing into the darkened mist, I knew that I didn’t want to become tangled up inside my illnesses anymore. What I’ve found is that I’ve had this power all the time and it’s just about unleashing it when times get tough and it all revolves around changing my thoughts and releasing the pain to allow space for fresh breath and the magic of new experiences and opportunities to connect in me.
- Living with these illnesses like I do, causes me to withdraw into myself. I can tell you, when I let myself withdraw further and further within, my head begins to play crazy tricks on every level of my life. So, the power begins by focusing on the positive and healthy path that I wander. At times of chronic flares and when it all looks like disaster, I need to find a way to clear some of the messy clutter from my head, allowing my brain much needed space to regather, recharge and renew the journey of life for me to wander.
- The messy clutter occurs because of the negative thoughts and experiences that chronic illness causes to every aspect of life. There are instances within my journey of health challenges and lifestyle battles that I know cause me to breakdown. Once, I breakdown, so do the illnesses that lay inside me. I know now, to stay in my own power I need to remove that negative clutter that reoccurs far to often. I need to allow myself space within myself so that when I need to stop and rest I can do just that. This will allow myself to journey forward with the positive vibration that I absolutely love to feel.
It is amazing what I’ve learnt in just two days about being in my own power. It has actually allowed me to believe in myself more, than ever before. This has all happened because of the power of journaling and sharing my experiences through this blog. You see, as I was journaling my thoughts and feelings, prior to translating it into that last blog I was finding myself more open to the idea that i can have, be AND do whatever it is that want, despite the nastiness of the illnesses that I live with. By journaling my thoughts, feelings and emotions outwardly I create so much more space, to concentrate on the positive mindset and visual purpose of life. Journaling and blogging has given me the independence and the confidence to talk outwardly about my pain, my sadness, allowing me to release and let go of all the unwanted mess that would otherwise remain locked inside of me. Having this power now on the outside, I can concentrate on controlling the innermost movements using mindfulness with my beloved yoga and meditation that somehow got lost in the journey with darkness. I’m back in a place where I can visualise life being as I want it, not as it feels in my body during the chronic pain experiences. Now is the time to take my power to the new levels helping others that maybe feeling the same. I’m going to write and write and when I need to stop and rest I will write some more because it’s going to allow me to breathe in the bliss that’s required to owning our own dreams and lives. When I can do that, it is possible to dissolve the challenges that chronic illness brings and let’s the magic of new opportunities and experiences to arrive at the door. I have the power and I will be now learning the process so that I can remain standing in this newly understood power. I know that, circumstances will come through and throw curve balls but by journaling and translating them into blogs and verbal conversations I will guarantee that I give myself the best chance of being the power of me.
Have you found your power, if so I would love to hear how you found your way into that space. I would also love to hear from you, if you continue to struggle with being in charge of your journey. Make sure you connect here or through one of my social media channels.
(AKA the Barefoot FND Goddess) 💋
“Wandering Towards Wellness, Globally”